I would say that before starting this treatment it is essential to have your mental health in control. In my case, it took a few months before I started the EMDR therapy since it was a priority to stabilize my depression.

EMDR was presented to me as the best alternative to approach my case. Before my therapist mentioned it, I had no idea what it was. After a quick search on the internet, I discovered that EMDR is a form of therapy that involves only the patient, his thoughts, and the therapist as a guide. My first thought was that maybe I would have to speak about the traumatizing experience openly, and that made me scared but that was not the case. Later on, I came to understand that it is more of an exercise of self-reflection. In the beginning, I was skeptical since I am very self-aware of my thoughts and I highly doubted that it would work for me.

The first therapy was an interesting experience but it made me feel like something was missing or that maybe I had done something wrong. I was incredibly alert of my thoughts as my therapist started on the first phase. It consisted of imagining three different things; first a container, something to retain your thoughts in the form of any physical object. Then, you have to imagine a safe place where you can mentally visit if you become overwhelmed; and lastly, a safe word in case you start feeling like you cannot handle the memory processing. Basically the therapist pitches a prompt and you have to envision the scenario as you listen to binaural music. When I finished my first session I felt a little concerned and afraid since I wasn’t able to feel what I was asked for, my brain wasn’t envisioning anything at all, just pitch black (because closing my eyes helped) and the sound of my thoughts.

By the time I got home, I realized the drive home was as important as the session itself as I had been able to finish ruminating on the memories. I started to think that maybe this was a result of the therapy but I was still unconvinced on the method after not being able to envision anything that I was prompted to imagine during the session. During the second EMDR session, things went a lot easier and I started to get the hang of it, the key was in letting go of the fear of judgment and insecurity. The best thing I did was be open with myself because, in reality, I was literally having a mental conversation with myself. The therapist gives you a prompt, you sit on it for a while, and then you report on how you feel. You can describe how you feel in any way you want, there is no specific way to express your thoughts. Once you become comfortable with the process is when your brain gets up to speed with the process until finally your thoughts are just come out like a stream. When you reach the comfort zone, there is no concern about doing anything wrong because you already know the ecosystem you have created and now you inhabit it within yourself, in your conscience.

As I progressed in the sessions I started unveiling the real reason why I was going to therapy. The more I recalled events, the more it made me afraid to come back to therapy. It is not an easy task to recall these memories, but trust me when I say that it is worth it to finish the treatment. I personally believe that it is healthier to cover a wound that has been opened because later on, it could get worse. The good thing about this therapy is that it is not going to get worse, it gets better and you actually start seeing the effects in each day that passes. In my case, by the third session, I was already noticing positive changes in my personal life, unconscious behavior, and thoughts.

I know that you are reading this from an outsider’s point of view of course. However, EMDR has proven to me that it is a very powerful healing device for traumatic experiences and I want to share my great experience with others. Most of the effects are developed by the subconscious and most of the results do not happen during the therapy. They happen later on when you are not focused on seeing the effects. The hardest part is the remembrance. Towards the end of the therapy, the perspective on the memories changed drastically for me. At the beginning of the treatment I felt like I was reliving the events and in some cases I had to visit the safe place I had established in the beginning. However, at the end of the treatment it felt like I was so distant from the memory that I could only describe it as seeing it on a screen that was far away from me, I felt disconnected from it. By that time my feelings, thoughts, and anxiety had been sorted. I felt the relief of the things that were controlling me subconsciously such as drastic humor changes, un-rational insecurities, fears, and most importantly the hidden sorrow that I dragged with me for so many years.

I am glad I concluded the process all the way through. I even waited some time to see if the effects would last or if it was something temporary. I can say with full satisfaction about this treatment that I would totally recommend giving EMDR a try. There are no implications, it is very simple and safe, there is no pressure to face remembrance since you work at your own pace, and most importantly it provides you with techniques that are applicable to all situations in life. This way of processing memories changed my life, and there is no exaggeration to what I just said, it did change me for good. It was truly beneficial to me and I am pretty sure that the first step to getting into it is all about encouragement. Trust me there is nothing to lose, from the moment you begin, things only get better. Even if you decide to stop because it does not convince you. However, go all the way through with the processing and you will get yourself an incredible life-changing experience.

Hi, I’m JoAnn, a silent victim. My husband was a victim of an attempted murder at his place of employment by a disgruntle ex-coworker who ended up stabbing him in his head with a pair of scissors.  During his outpatient therapies, his speech therapist asked me if I was taking care of myself and talking to anyone because I am also a victim.  She handed me a card to VSC, Victim Service Center of Central Florida.

I called immediately and was able to come in, fill out their information sheet and just a couple weeks later I was meeting with both an Advocate and Therapist, who I still see today even though the attack on my husband happened on Jan 1, 2016.

When I first came to VSC, I was so overwhelmed with emotions. Waking up that morning to a phone call telling me there was an incident between my husband and his attacker and he’d been taken to the hospital, only later to discover he had been stabbed in the head with a pair of scissors, with only a 50/50 chance of survival.  As the days went on, watching him in a coma not knowing if when he woke up if he would remember me or what disabilities he might have.  When he did awake and knew who I was, our next hurdle was relearning how to walk, speak, write, read, which correct utensils to use while eating.  Watching a grown man, anyone you love having to relearn these basic developmental skills like they were a child, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to watch.  My emotions were everywhere!  From happy he was alive, to heartbroken watching him try to read a book like See Spot Run, to anger at the man who did this.  I felt ALONE……

VSC has been a life saver for me. My Advocate was able to help me with the criminal trial for my husband’s attacker.  She was a huge help guiding me in the direction I wanted to go with my Victim Impact Statement.  I wanted to keep it professional yet get my word across to the judge explaining how this act of violence had affected me just as much as my husband.  Luckily, my Advocate was able to attend the trial which helped more when it came to time to read my statement at the sentencing and being there for the support I needed to get through this.

I also see a therapist at VSC, continues to help me today with coping and teaching me ways to work through the stress and anxiety of “my new normal” as I like to call it. I’m able to control the anger I have towards the person who changed not only my husband’s life, but my life!   Because of VSC, I no longer feel alone.  I know that if I’m having a bad day and need someone to talk to, I can call the 24/7 hour hotline, 407-500-HEAL, and there will be someone there to just listen and to let me know however I am feeling in that moment is okay and tomorrow is a new day.

The donations VSC receives to provide professional care and help to victims and their families is so important, because I honestly do not know if I could be as strong as I’ve become for myself and my husband without their help.

When the worst tragedy occurred, you showed your steadfast support to aid those most in need. For that, we are eternally grateful.

Our team was shocked and saddened by the senseless act of the Pulse shooting which took 49 lives, injured countless others, and destroyed our great community’s sense of peace and safety. In the early morning hours of darkness, we came together in an inspiring, powerful way that showed the world true strength, unity, and compassion.

We received the call to respond to Orlando Regional Medical Center to provide crisis support to the victims and their families. “We were all shocked by what had happened but we knew we had the skills to help the survivors and the families of the deceased cope with their trauma and grief,” said Kristin, VSC’s first staff member to respond to the call. Upon learning the magnitude and severity of the tragedy, our entire crisis response team was quickly mobilized to be with the families as they awaited news on the status of their loved ones.

Our team worked side by side with the FBI, FDLE, and other law enforcement agencies as information was released to family members. “Our staff was uniquely qualified to respond to the tragedy and took on the significant responsibility of notifying families that their loved one did not survive the attack,” said JoEllen, VSC’s Program Director. We were able to provide support to the families not only through our counseling services, but also by arranging transportation and lodging, making funeral arrangements, and assisting with other needs. Your generous contributions allowed our team to be on the front lines helping families begin to put the broken pieces of their lives back together.

Many of the victims and their families were Spanish speaking, which created additional fear, not knowing if others would be able to understand them when they expressed their pain. “Being bilingual and Hispanic, I was able to console them and provide the emotional support they needed in their native language to offer comfort and strength,” said Indhira, one of the VSC’s bilingual crisis counselors.

In the weeks following the shooting, the Orlando United Assistance Center opened to help victims and their families navigate the system and receive long-term support. We now have a therapist and victim advocate stationed at the OUAC providing support to the victims and their loved ones. “Emotional healing from a trauma is a long and painful journey. We are here to provide compassionate, individualized services for the victims and their loved ones; to walk with them hand in hand to recover a sense of power over their lives,” said Lucy, VSC’s Pulse therapist.

Because of you, our team had the resources to respond to the worst mass shooting in our great country’s history. Because of you, we have been able to provide free, unlimited, and confidential services to Pulse victims and their families. Because of you, we will continue to serve anyone needing our services, for as long as they are needed.

“We couldn’t be more proud to stand together with you to help heal our amazing community,” said Lui Damiani, VSC’s Executive Director. Thank you for your
unwavering support.

With sincere gratitude,

The Victim Service Center Team

No one expects to receive a phone call like this… one that instantaneously turns your world completely upside down, chews it up, then spits it back out into a million pieces.  For the rest of my life I will be able to pinpoint the exact location on the planet from where I received such a call.  The human brain has an innate ability to burn a location into your memory forever when it is given information that is so devastating.

I’ll never forget the sound of her voice… “Something happened…” I tried to steady myself as the words came from the phone.  A myriad of emotions hit me simultaneously – a haze of disbelief bundling immense heartbreak, sympathy and anger.  What do you say at a moment like this?  I remember trying to say words of comfort and reassurance just to get to give her any kind of relief.  I didn’t want to hear the details only because visualizing such atrocious acts happening to someone so wonderful and dear would break me, but I had to hear everything.  Nothing prepares someone for a moment like this.  These things only happen to someone else, right?  We all see the news, with all of the terrible things devastating lives with those whom you are not engaged in.  It’s always someone else…. Why her?  Why now?

When something horrific happens to someone you love dearly, all you want to do is fix it and make everything go away – the horror, the fear, the disbelief, the chaos… I honestly didn’t know what to do, I acted purely on instinct, wanting nothing but to soothe the wonderful soul of my love.  Fortunately I wasn’t alone, I had the Orlando Police Department and the Victim Service Center there to help make sense of this nightmare and guide us with open and loving arms.  I will be thoroughly grateful for both of these entities as long as I stand on this Earth.

All of the focus belongs to the victim, it has to.  You forget about all of the trivial trials and tribulations that we have to endure daily, the only thing that matters is to help and do what you can to make anything better for them.  There is not just one victim, however – there is a vast array of those whose worlds are greatly impacted as well, even though they are much lower on the spectrum of receiving healing and support.  I suppose that my ramblings on this blog are directed towards those who hold the hand of the one they love throughout this entire ordeal.  The husband, the wife, the father, the mother, the brother/sister. etc.  You are not alone.  You deserve to share your experiences and grievances because you are going through this too.  The sleepless nights, the sadness, the anger not towards only the world around us but towards any deity that could allow this to happen, no matter what your faith may or may not be.  Honestly, I think one of the biggest struggles for me was the helplessness I felt that I wasn’t there to stop it.  What if I had stayed with her just a bit longer?  What if we went back to my house instead of her going home alone to be confronted with a monster?  What if I had gone with her?  Is it my fault that she left her apartment to meet me?  What could I have done differently?  I have spent countless hours asking myself countless questions about how I could have saved her from this. It is a harrowing feeling knowing that you can’t save someone from something that has already occurred, you are utterly helpless.

My heart goes out to anyone that is reading this that feels or has ever felt like I have.  You are not alone.  Hopefully we all have had the opportunity to talk to someone about this nightmare. Initially out of respect for my love, I only told a very few select close friends to share this with, at her insistence.  How do you even begin to share?  With whom could you possibly share this with? As helpful as it was to confide in two of my best friends, I really wish that I would have had someone to talk to that I could have related with, and I actually still do.  I want someone to be able to understand the level of my hatred towards the scumbag that hurt my love so badly.  I want to share with someone who has also had to look at the man in the eyes that did these terrible things.  The hatred has been so hard to deal with… I still have it and I think that I always will.  Because of this man, I have had such evil thoughts that I never thought that I could be so capable of having. Even though he will be in prison for the rest of his life (even if he lives to be 100 years old he will still be behind bars), sometimes it doesn’t feel like it is enough.  It’s never enough… I can’t even begin to relay how many horrific dreams I have had about being behind a closed door alone with him.

Fortunately there is support out there.  One thing that I find helpful in dealing with such vile hatred towards someone is the love that I have for her, to protect her and support her even after all of these years.  Another thing that puts my soul at ease is knowing that an incredible organization such as the Victim Service Center exists, and is here to help victims every step of the way.  I don’t know what we would have done without the VSC, but I needn’t worry because they are here, and they need to be here.  Not just for the victims themselves, but for people like me.

Forever Grateful,

David Sines

Rachel, David’s Wife, was a victim of a sexual assault and received VSC services following the assault. Rachel is currently an active volunteer, member of VSC’s Speakers Bureau, and  advocate for victims of sexual assault in our community.