“Being a survivor is about learning to cope. I am a survivor because I am still here. It is hard to be a survivor. I put so much effort into it and people. You need to have some sort of passion in life. I have a passion to live.”  ~ Ally, a survivor

As described on ecpact.org, Ally was sexually exploited by a man she met online in Canada. At that time, she was struggling with family issues and her identity. Like many teenagers, she looked for support and attention online. She met a man online that gave her the attention she craved. Eventually, they met in person, and he sexually assaulted her. He blackmailed her to keep her silence. The shame of the secret led to depression which led her to abuse drugs.  Ally is just one instance of online grooming. Ecpat.org

What is grooming?

Grooming is an intentional act of an adult to befriend a child, establish an emotional connection and find a child’s insecurities. The perpetrator uses grooming tactics such as attention, validation, unconditional regard to build a child’s trust and create opportunities to perpetrate abuse. Predators have weaved their way into the online universe by contacting children through video game chats as another child or a respectable adult. They offer support and validation that is missing in that child’s life.

According to Childnet.com, online grooming consists of social media, video games, and private chats. Predators use fake accounts, names, and photos to befriend the child. They appear as another child, modeling agent, a scout, sports coach, or famous influencer that pretend to have the same interests to build trust and establish a friendship. Online predators are indifferent to race, ethnicity, or gender- any child is in danger. Some children may be more susceptible due to other vulnerabilities such as special educational needs disability. They have difficulty in learning and communication skills.

After the trust is gained, they direct the conversation towards sexual experiences by asking to share naked photos or videos. Some predators may set up a location to meet. These predators eventually manipulate, blackmail, and control the child. Also known as sextortion, instead of money, they demand more photos or videos. An article on THORN.org, predators use photos and videos as leverage. If the child does not comply, they threaten to share it family and friends thus creating shame and isolation in children. As a result, the child begins to isolate themselves from friends and family. It is important to remember that online groomers are not always strangers. They could be family friends or someone they have met at a social gathering, and they use online to build rapport.

The National Center for Educational Statistics found children spend 50% more on-screen time due to the pandemic and school closures.

Along with an increase of time being spent online, Children are also participating in sexting.

THORN’s article states that self-generated child sexual abuse material (SG-CSAM), is rapidly growing to exploit children. A consensual or coercive naked photo taken by the child is sent to a known individual known as “sexting” or “sharing nudes.” In the future, these photos can be used by offenders to groom other children. Sexting gives the predator control over photos/videos sent. The predator may share those photos with other people or use it to blackmail the victim. According to the study, adolescents think sharing nudes is a form of sexual exploration and flirting. About 40%, 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys, find it normal to share nudes.

The most popular image/video sharing platforms are Instagram (56%) and Snapchat (55%). On Snapchat, 70% have shared their photos, and 69% have seen others. And 54% have shared other’s photos. On Instagram, 66% share, and 67% seen others. Online predators groom a child by making an emotional connection. Afterward, they begin sexual conversations, and it leads to sexting which is sending naked photos.

How can we spot online grooming?

With children being online more it can be difficult to know what is happening in the virtual world. These red flags may not mean that a child is experiencing online grooming however they could be indicators to check in and have a conversation. According to the article, Grooming: What parent should know and what schools should do if they suspect it. The typical red flags for parents to pay attention to:

• Wanting to spend more time on the internet

• Being secretive about who they are talking to online, and websites visited.

• Switching screens

• Noticing new items that have not been given by you, a friend, or a family member

• Using sexual language that is not age-appropriate

• Expressing hostile or volatile behavior

How can we protect children from online grooming?

Parents/caregivers need to teach children about online predators. Starting the conversation at a young age leaves the children equipped to feel safe to talk to someone if situation as such arises. Children at an early age need guidance on body boundaries and consent to prevent falling for the predators’ devious tricks of sharing nude photos. It is essential for parents, caregivers, and teachers to begin a conversation to prevent future harm. A great resource by Michigan State University called, “Preventing Grooming by Child Sexual Predators,” provides great information on opportunities to speak with children about predators. For example:

1. Talk About Secrets
2. Keeping secrets can be harmful. A responsible adult will not ask a child to keep a secret for their parents. Children must know that they will not get in trouble if they tell you a conversation they had with another adult and they asked the child to keep a secret. Children should know that parents/caregivers will support them no matter what.
3. Listen, Listen, and Listen Some More
4. Listen carefully to the child. It shows that you love, value, and respect them. Communicate by giving them your full attention. Listen without judgment. Children are likely to share more information if they know they will not be judged, disrespected or punished.
5. Teach Children to be Assertive
6. Respectfully encourage children to voice their opinions about likes and dislikes; this will help them stand up for themselves and feel empowered. Children may not feel empowered when an adult puts them in an unsafe situation. Children need to know that it is ok to say “NO” to adults. The word “NO” is a complete sentence and puts a boundary in place.
7. Teach Children consent
8. Consent is giving someone permission to do a certain activity or for something to happen. Such as, when you go to the doctor, you give consent for the doctor to perform a certain procedure. Also, in relationships each individual has to give or deny consent. Consent is freely given; it should be clear and specific. A person has the right to deny consent or change their mind if the situation seems unsafe.
9. Consent can be modeled at home by asking your children to touch, hug, or kiss them, and respecting their wishes if they say, “no.” This teaches children personal boundaries.
10. Talk About Consent and Relationships
11. Talk to children at an early age about consent and respect in romantic relationships. Talking to them openly encourages them to come talk to you when they are concerned or confused when something happens to them, and they feel unsure.

The goal is to keep children safe and to be actively involved. The key is to be vigilant and prepared to protect children and help them build skill necessary that will help keep them safe from in person and online predator. More great tips on: https://www.canr.msu.edu/creating-safe-environments/uploads/files/Final%20-%20Preventing%20Grooming.pdf

Unfortunately, just like with any risk reduction we cannot make sure children are and will be safe 100% of the time. However, early conversations, support, and trust can prevent online grooming and if something does happen, children will know who to reach out for help.

Resources:

TO REPORT CHILD PORNOGRAPHY, OBSCENITY, OR TO REPORT A CYBERCRIME: www.cybertipline.com
Or call: 1-800-THE-LOST (provided by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children). The congressionally mandated CyberTipline is a reporting mechanism for cases of child sexual exploitation including child pornography, online enticement of children for sex acts, molestation of children outside the family, sex tourism of children, child victims of prostitution, and unsolicited obscene material sent to a child. Reports may be made 24 hours per day, 7 days per week.

Online Resource:

Darkness to light

Missingkids.org

Stopsextortion.com tips and resources to protect yourself and loved ones before it starts.

Riverbridgerc.org:

In these 10 episodes Meghan Hurley Backofen provides caregivers with 10 Tips for Sexual Abuse Prevention. She discusses much of the misinformation caregivers have that put children at greater risk for sexual abuse trauma. She also identifies what children need to know to be a “least likely” victim. This class is based on her work with sexual abuse survivors and extensive knowledge of sexual abuse victimization. Caregivers will feel empowered after learning specific strategies in how to talk with children about this difficult topic and how to respond if sexual abuse is suspected. This podcast is an excellent resource for parents who want to share Meghan’s book “Who’s the Boss of this Body” with their child.

Podcast:

On audible

What grooming looks like and how to cope afterwards by Emma Cantrell

[The respect room] Preventing Sexual Grooming Part 1

BBC Radio: File on 4: Online Grooming

Books for parents:

Mia’s Secret: story of a young girl groomed by her mom’s friend

MOSAC: Book What do I do now? MOSAC published a comprehensive guide for mothers of sexually abused children. It is an important resource for professionals to offer to moms and family members of sexually abused children. Amazon link below. Also available at Apple and book source.

Shefali Tsabary: renown parent expert and author. “The conscious parent”

Speaker: Resurrection Graves is child sexual abuse expert.

She is available for radio, T. v. and speaking engagements at

Resurrection.wordpress@yahoo.com or 202-717-7377

by Natalia Richards, Rollins College Clinical Mental Health Counseling Graduate Student

September is National Suicide Prevention Month! A month of sharing, educating, advocating and promoting suicide prevention awareness.

Facts about Suicide

Suicide is the 10^th leading cause of death in the United States, which makes it a serious public health problem. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10-34 years.

40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt. 92% of these individuals reported having attempted suicide before the age of 25.

33% of women who are survivors of a sexual assault contemplate suicide, while 13% of women who are survivors of sexual assault attempt suicide.

In the United States in 2016 nearly 45,000 people died by suicide, in 2017 over 47,000 people died by suicide. The rate of suicide has increased every year since 2006 and is only expected to grow.

However, suicide is preventable. Knowing the risk factors of suicide and recognizing the warning signs can help prevent suicide.

What is Suicide Prevention?

Suicide Prevention is reducing the risk of suicide; it involves the collective efforts of local or state run organizations, health and mental health professionals whose goal is to reduce the incidence of suicide.

What is Suicide?

Suicide is the act of ending your own life, by directing violence on yourself. When someone ends their own life, we say that they “died by suicide” or “completed suicide.” It is best to avoid the use of terms “committed suicide” or “successful suicide” because it adds a negative connotation.

A “suicide attempt” means that someone directed violence on themselves but did not die.

Risk Factors and Warning Signs

Risk Factors are characteristics that make it more likely that an individual will consider, attempt or die by suicide.

Risk Factors:

• LGBTQ+ victimization
• Previous suicide attempt(s)
• A history of suicide in the family
• Exposure to suicidal behaviors
• Alcohol and/or substance misuse
• Access to lethal means
• History of trauma and abuse
• History of losses and other events
• Chronic physical and mental health illnesses

Those who may struggle with Suicide:

• LGBTQ+
• Assault Survivors
• Attempt Survivors
• Youth
• Disaster Survivors
• Native Americans
• Veterans
• Deaf, Hard of Hearing and Hearing Loss
• These are a few groups of people that may struggle with suicide, however, any and every one can struggle with suicide for numerous reasons.

Warning signs indicate an immediate risk of suicide.

Warning Signs of Suicide:

• Feeling hopeless, helpless or worthless
• No sense of purpose in life
• Acting anxious or agitated
• Social isolation and loneliness
• Sudden sense of calm
• Dramatic mood changes
• Changing eating and/or sleeping patterns
• Self-destructive behavior
• Suicidal thoughts
• Preoccupation with death
• Feeling unbearable pain
• Increased alcohol and/or substance misuse
• Withdrawing from friends, family and community
• Giving away important possessions
• Saying goodbye
• Putting affairs in order

Five action steps for communicating with someone who may be suicidal:

Ask – Don’t be afraid to ask questions, including “Are you thinking about suicide?” It shows that you are open to communicating about a subject that many choose not to speak about. Remember you should do so in a non-judgmental and supportive way. But also don’t forget to listen. By listening, you will be able to see what the best course of action is, whether calling a helpline, 911, taking them to an emergency room or even a behavioral hospital. Be sure to take all answers seriously and do not ignore them!

Keep Them Safe – After you “Ask” and have determined suicide is being talked about, it’s important to establish immediate safety. So how do you do establish safety? Find out if the person has attempted suicide before, if they have a specific or detailed plan on how they would die by suicide? If there is a timeframe? If there is a method that they’d want to use and/or if they have access to obtain this method?

Be There – Can mean a few things, physically being present, speaking to them on the phone when you can, providing resources or showing support in any way they may need.

Help Them Connect – Helping someone with thoughts of suicide connect with ongoing support can help them establish a safety net for those moments they find themselves in a crisis and are in need of professional help.

Follow Up – Be sure to follow up with them to see how they’re doing.  Don’t be afraid to check in to see by calling or texting, this is a great way to continue to show support and offer them assistance.

Resources:

BeThe1To

Toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (NSPL) is available 24/7 at 1–800–273–TALK (8255)

The Deaf and Hard of Hearing can contact the Lifeline via TTY at 1–800–799–4889

The Trevor Project (866) 488-7386

The Crisis Text Line is available 24/7. Text “HOME” to 741741

Trans Lifeline 877-565-8860

Victim Service Center 24/7 crisis helpline 407-500-HEAL (4325).

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) report of 2013, indicated 108,030 domestic violence incidents were reported in Florida. Additional data suggests, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime. Furthermore, when considering SV and DV victimization, between 14% and 25% of women are sexually assaulted by intimate partners during their relationship. (NCADV, 2015)

According to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement (FDLE) Statistics, specifically the report for Osceola County; in 2017, there was an incident rate of 1,941 Domestic Violence cases and an approximate of 144 Sexual Assault related offenses. (FDLE, 2017)

Due to the reported incidents and recurrent concern from community leaders, agencies and individuals, VSC partnered with a group of professionals to provide information related on DV and SV awareness. Most recently, in 2017, a group of Hispanics including Puerto Ricans were impacted by a natural disaster that influenced the need of seeking shelter in the state of Florida. As a result, numerous individuals including men, women, elderly and children have been temporarily residing in local hotels. Some community concerns have developed including: financial hardship, homelessness, fatal and non-fatal cases related to domestic violence, and other crimes. Ultimately, distressing the functionality and mental health of the Puerto Rican families.

One of the most significant points discussed was the importance of Roles and Ethical implications when witnessing a crime or supporting a survivor. VSC Advocates informed community leaders on the various responders that can assist in the event of a crime or crisis including: Law Enforcement, Victim Advocates, Crisis Counselors, Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE), EMT’s, Fire Fighters and other agencies that may support further needs of victims. As social science professionals, is imperative to highlight the roles of specialized teams and community leaders. Thus, an open communication was developed in the importance to understand limitations and strengths, displayed by individuals, in the event of working a crisis. Some guidelines were exposed such as: trauma focused professional intervention, ethical code for social science practice, mandatory reporting, vicarious disorder, secondary victimization and awareness of community resources.

VSC Advocates offered the following information and strategies:

• Definition: What is a Crisis?
• Learning how to identify indicators present in crisis situation.
• CRISIS Intervention strategies: assessment of a situation, things to consider when approaching a victim-survivor, Proactive verbal intervention towards a victim (tone, volume, and language) and body language awareness.
• Physical and Emotional Common Reactions to Victimization
• Victimization in a different culture
• Empowerment skills: Appropriate approach to be conducted in a crisis situation (verbal phrases, validation of emotions and victim emotional regulation to assess needs. In the effort to empower a victim-survivor.
• Safety tips and planning (injunction process & reporting to LE)
• Types of Victims, Victims’ rights, and Mandatory Reporting
• Community Resources: Response from Agencies when working with DV & SV incidents, Information and contacts of services in the event of a crisis.
• Role & Ethical implications

 If you or a loved one is experiencing consequences associated with being a Victim of a Crime, reach out to Victim Service Center through our 24/7 Crisis Helpline (407) 500 – HEAL. You can also reach the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or through their online chat.

At VSC we care for Victims, contact us, we would love to be part of your healing process!

ROSA M. ABRAHAM, MS | Victim Advocate & Crisis Counselor

References:

Domestic Violence national statistics (2015). Retrieved from www.ncadv.org

Florida Department of Law Enforcement. Florida Uniform Crime Report (2017) Retrieved from www.fdle.state.fl.us

I would say that before starting this treatment it is essential to have your mental health in control. In my case, it took a few months before I started the EMDR therapy since it was a priority to stabilize my depression.

EMDR was presented to me as the best alternative to approach my case. Before my therapist mentioned it, I had no idea what it was. After a quick search on the internet, I discovered that EMDR is a form of therapy that involves only the patient, his thoughts, and the therapist as a guide. My first thought was that maybe I would have to speak about the traumatizing experience openly, and that made me scared but that was not the case. Later on, I came to understand that it is more of an exercise of self-reflection. In the beginning, I was skeptical since I am very self-aware of my thoughts and I highly doubted that it would work for me.

The first therapy was an interesting experience but it made me feel like something was missing or that maybe I had done something wrong. I was incredibly alert of my thoughts as my therapist started on the first phase. It consisted of imagining three different things; first a container, something to retain your thoughts in the form of any physical object. Then, you have to imagine a safe place where you can mentally visit if you become overwhelmed; and lastly, a safe word in case you start feeling like you cannot handle the memory processing. Basically the therapist pitches a prompt and you have to envision the scenario as you listen to binaural music. When I finished my first session I felt a little concerned and afraid since I wasn’t able to feel what I was asked for, my brain wasn’t envisioning anything at all, just pitch black (because closing my eyes helped) and the sound of my thoughts.

By the time I got home, I realized the drive home was as important as the session itself as I had been able to finish ruminating on the memories. I started to think that maybe this was a result of the therapy but I was still unconvinced on the method after not being able to envision anything that I was prompted to imagine during the session. During the second EMDR session, things went a lot easier and I started to get the hang of it, the key was in letting go of the fear of judgment and insecurity. The best thing I did was be open with myself because, in reality, I was literally having a mental conversation with myself. The therapist gives you a prompt, you sit on it for a while, and then you report on how you feel. You can describe how you feel in any way you want, there is no specific way to express your thoughts. Once you become comfortable with the process is when your brain gets up to speed with the process until finally your thoughts are just come out like a stream. When you reach the comfort zone, there is no concern about doing anything wrong because you already know the ecosystem you have created and now you inhabit it within yourself, in your conscience.

As I progressed in the sessions I started unveiling the real reason why I was going to therapy. The more I recalled events, the more it made me afraid to come back to therapy. It is not an easy task to recall these memories, but trust me when I say that it is worth it to finish the treatment. I personally believe that it is healthier to cover a wound that has been opened because later on, it could get worse. The good thing about this therapy is that it is not going to get worse, it gets better and you actually start seeing the effects in each day that passes. In my case, by the third session, I was already noticing positive changes in my personal life, unconscious behavior, and thoughts.

I know that you are reading this from an outsider’s point of view of course. However, EMDR has proven to me that it is a very powerful healing device for traumatic experiences and I want to share my great experience with others. Most of the effects are developed by the subconscious and most of the results do not happen during the therapy. They happen later on when you are not focused on seeing the effects. The hardest part is the remembrance. Towards the end of the therapy, the perspective on the memories changed drastically for me. At the beginning of the treatment I felt like I was reliving the events and in some cases I had to visit the safe place I had established in the beginning. However, at the end of the treatment it felt like I was so distant from the memory that I could only describe it as seeing it on a screen that was far away from me, I felt disconnected from it. By that time my feelings, thoughts, and anxiety had been sorted. I felt the relief of the things that were controlling me subconsciously such as drastic humor changes, un-rational insecurities, fears, and most importantly the hidden sorrow that I dragged with me for so many years.

I am glad I concluded the process all the way through. I even waited some time to see if the effects would last or if it was something temporary. I can say with full satisfaction about this treatment that I would totally recommend giving EMDR a try. There are no implications, it is very simple and safe, there is no pressure to face remembrance since you work at your own pace, and most importantly it provides you with techniques that are applicable to all situations in life. This way of processing memories changed my life, and there is no exaggeration to what I just said, it did change me for good. It was truly beneficial to me and I am pretty sure that the first step to getting into it is all about encouragement. Trust me there is nothing to lose, from the moment you begin, things only get better. Even if you decide to stop because it does not convince you. However, go all the way through with the processing and you will get yourself an incredible life-changing experience.

Hi, I’m JoAnn, a silent victim. My husband was a victim of an attempted murder at his place of employment by a disgruntle ex-coworker who ended up stabbing him in his head with a pair of scissors.  During his outpatient therapies, his speech therapist asked me if I was taking care of myself and talking to anyone because I am also a victim.  She handed me a card to VSC, Victim Service Center of Central Florida.

I called immediately and was able to come in, fill out their information sheet and just a couple weeks later I was meeting with both an Advocate and Therapist, who I still see today even though the attack on my husband happened on Jan 1, 2016.

When I first came to VSC, I was so overwhelmed with emotions. Waking up that morning to a phone call telling me there was an incident between my husband and his attacker and he’d been taken to the hospital, only later to discover he had been stabbed in the head with a pair of scissors, with only a 50/50 chance of survival.  As the days went on, watching him in a coma not knowing if when he woke up if he would remember me or what disabilities he might have.  When he did awake and knew who I was, our next hurdle was relearning how to walk, speak, write, read, which correct utensils to use while eating.  Watching a grown man, anyone you love having to relearn these basic developmental skills like they were a child, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to watch.  My emotions were everywhere!  From happy he was alive, to heartbroken watching him try to read a book like See Spot Run, to anger at the man who did this.  I felt ALONE……

VSC has been a life saver for me. My Advocate was able to help me with the criminal trial for my husband’s attacker.  She was a huge help guiding me in the direction I wanted to go with my Victim Impact Statement.  I wanted to keep it professional yet get my word across to the judge explaining how this act of violence had affected me just as much as my husband.  Luckily, my Advocate was able to attend the trial which helped more when it came to time to read my statement at the sentencing and being there for the support I needed to get through this.

I also see a therapist at VSC, continues to help me today with coping and teaching me ways to work through the stress and anxiety of “my new normal” as I like to call it. I’m able to control the anger I have towards the person who changed not only my husband’s life, but my life!   Because of VSC, I no longer feel alone.  I know that if I’m having a bad day and need someone to talk to, I can call the 24/7 hour hotline, 407-500-HEAL, and there will be someone there to just listen and to let me know however I am feeling in that moment is okay and tomorrow is a new day.

The donations VSC receives to provide professional care and help to victims and their families is so important, because I honestly do not know if I could be as strong as I’ve become for myself and my husband without their help.

We have the opportunity to continue the dialogue and discuss ways we can create social change. Sexual violence is an epidemic and is a victimization experienced by all ages, genders, ethnicities, and socioeconomic groups. The damage is deep and the pain that results is incredibly real. Whether you vow to be an active bystander, reflect on how you treat others, or advocate for those who have suffered in silence, we ask you to use your voice and demand better treatment of others.

Many of you have shared #MeToo as your status. We applaud your bravery and stand with you. Whether or not you’ve shared your story on social media, please know we are here, around-the-clock, to help you as you go through your healing journey. Call 407-500-HEAL to reach our 24/7 confidential helpline.

Written by: Orialis, VSC Crisis Counselor

Many victims are in an intimate relationship with their abuser. Sexual assault and domestic violence exist within the scope of oppression. It is how a perpetrator abuses power and control over a victim. A perpetrator can use a variety of violent and non-violent methods to take away a victim’s agency. These may include: violence, intimidation, emotional abuse, controlling money, making the victim feel like they are “crazy”, and sexual assault. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (FCADV) reports that about 15-25% of women are sexually assaulted by an intimate partner. Sexual violence is another way of controlling and taking away a person’s agency. Although some domestic violence victims have outward signs of abuse, many suffer abuse in other ways.

Sometimes the wounds of domestic and sexual violence are invisible. Victims of intimate partner violence are at a high risk for depression and anxiety. Ninety-four percent of women who are raped experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) during the two weeks following the rape, and one third contemplate suicide.

One particularly dangerous aspect of domestic violence is the isolation that results from the victimization. As a way to control the victim, an abuser may not let the victim remain in contact with their friends or family. In some cases, the victim doesn’t even realize they have been isolated.

In my experience as a crisis counselor, many of my clients have stated that they didn’t seek help sooner because they were scared. Imagine that the person that is supposed to love and care for you is also the person hurting you the most. It can be a huge feat to trust others following this type of betrayal. When a victim fears that they will not be believed or if they are isolated from resources, they may be less likely to seek support. Many of my clients have been dealing with this silently for years before feeling safe enough to ask for help.

Oftentimes, our society does not believe that an individual can be a victim of sexual violence by their spouse or partner. As long as we continue this narrative and do not acknowledge the sexual violence between partners, we dismiss a huge portion of survivors. The link between sexual violence and domestic violence in undeniable.

For survivors, you are worthy.  You are worth of understanding, empathy, and kindness. At the Victim Service Center, we are here to believe you and to help you. We want to walk alongside you through your journey. To make an appointment, please call 407-254-9415. If you need to speak with our crisis counselor, please call 407-500-HEAL.

• DO NOT: delete the perpetrator(s) and their related 3^rd parties [friends, family] off of social media sites as they may contact you and provide more evidence for your case
• DO NOT: respond to contact from perpetrator(s) and their related 3^rd parties, including texts, in-app messages, e-mails, etc.
• DO: allow calls from perpetrator(s) and related 3^rd parties to go to voicemail
• DO: take screenshots and record any contact perpetrator(s) and related 3^rd parties make, including texts, Facebook/Instagram/Tumblr/Twitter/Google/e-mail messages
• DO: change your privacy settings on all social media accounts to only friends, or restrict certain individuals from seeing what you post
• DO NOT: post information about the crime online, including commenting and messaging about it
• DO: choose a passcode for your phone, laptop, tablet, etc.
• DO: download a free anti-malware, tracking, and spyware security system for your devices, including MalwareBytes, Webroot, Kapersky, etc.
• DO: set an auto-lock timeout on your devices which will enable your devices to lock when inactive
  • iPhone: Settings>Display and Brightness>Auto-Lock
  • Android: Settings>Location and Security>Screen Lock
• DO: enable your devices to erase data after multiple failed passcode attempts
  • iPhone: Settings>Touch ID and Passcode>Erase Data
• DO NOT: allow your device to show previews of your text messages
  • iPhone: Settings>Notifications>Messages>Show Previews>Off
  • Android: Settings>Privacy>Uncheck Display Message Text
• DO NOT: allow your phone to record typed information (names, credit card information)
  • iPhone: Settings>General>Reset>Reset Keyboard Dictionary
• DO: protect yourself on the web:
  • iPhone: Settings>General>Safari> enable…
    • Fraudulent Website Warnings
    • Do Not Track
    • Block Pop-Ups
    • Disable AutoFill of passwords, names, etc.
  • Google Chrome: Settings>Privacy>Do Not Track
  • Internet Explorer: Settings>Internet Options>Privacy Settings
• DO: limit posting your location online:
  • iPhone:
    • Settings>Privacy>Location Services>System Services>Frequent Locations> OFF
    • Turn off Bluetooth if possible
    • Consider turning off “background app refresh” to avoid apps tracking your location: Settings>General>Background App Refresh
    • Turn off location sharing for specific apps that a perpetrator(s) may have access to: Settings>Privacy>Location Services
    • Turn on the status bar when services request your location so you are aware when location is being attempted: Settings>Privacy>Location Services>System Services>Status Bar Icon
  • Facebook: avoid checking in at businesses, untag yourself from posts/pictures revealing your current/common locations
• DO: download safety applications on your phone that alert your friends to where you’re at and alarms them when you haven’t responded
  • iPhone & Android: REACT Mobile, StaySafe, On Watch, Circle of 6, bSafe

For more information or to speak with a Victim Advocate, please call 407-254-9415.

When the worst tragedy occurred, you showed your steadfast support to aid those most in need. For that, we are eternally grateful.

Our team was shocked and saddened by the senseless act of the Pulse shooting which took 49 lives, injured countless others, and destroyed our great community’s sense of peace and safety. In the early morning hours of darkness, we came together in an inspiring, powerful way that showed the world true strength, unity, and compassion.

We received the call to respond to Orlando Regional Medical Center to provide crisis support to the victims and their families. “We were all shocked by what had happened but we knew we had the skills to help the survivors and the families of the deceased cope with their trauma and grief,” said Kristin, VSC’s first staff member to respond to the call. Upon learning the magnitude and severity of the tragedy, our entire crisis response team was quickly mobilized to be with the families as they awaited news on the status of their loved ones.

Our team worked side by side with the FBI, FDLE, and other law enforcement agencies as information was released to family members. “Our staff was uniquely qualified to respond to the tragedy and took on the significant responsibility of notifying families that their loved one did not survive the attack,” said JoEllen, VSC’s Program Director. We were able to provide support to the families not only through our counseling services, but also by arranging transportation and lodging, making funeral arrangements, and assisting with other needs. Your generous contributions allowed our team to be on the front lines helping families begin to put the broken pieces of their lives back together.

Many of the victims and their families were Spanish speaking, which created additional fear, not knowing if others would be able to understand them when they expressed their pain. “Being bilingual and Hispanic, I was able to console them and provide the emotional support they needed in their native language to offer comfort and strength,” said Indhira, one of the VSC’s bilingual crisis counselors.

In the weeks following the shooting, the Orlando United Assistance Center opened to help victims and their families navigate the system and receive long-term support. We now have a therapist and victim advocate stationed at the OUAC providing support to the victims and their loved ones. “Emotional healing from a trauma is a long and painful journey. We are here to provide compassionate, individualized services for the victims and their loved ones; to walk with them hand in hand to recover a sense of power over their lives,” said Lucy, VSC’s Pulse therapist.

Because of you, our team had the resources to respond to the worst mass shooting in our great country’s history. Because of you, we have been able to provide free, unlimited, and confidential services to Pulse victims and their families. Because of you, we will continue to serve anyone needing our services, for as long as they are needed.

“We couldn’t be more proud to stand together with you to help heal our amazing community,” said Lui Damiani, VSC’s Executive Director. Thank you for your
unwavering support.

With sincere gratitude,

The Victim Service Center Team

The Internal Family

When I first saw the Disney movie: Inside Out, I was amazed.  The core principles of mental health, healing, and internal dialogue were perfectly captured!  With all the movies these days misrepresenting what therapy is and how healing occurs, I was pleasantly surprised to see these concepts displayed in such an energizing, kid-friendly way.  The idea that we have parts of ourselves that may not always agree and sometimes even argue amongst themselves has historically brought judgment and shame.  We have called ourselves “crazy” when we listen to this internal system and worse when we take is seriously.  Well times are a changin’!  We are acknowledging and validating this complicated internal system and now allowing it to be a healing force in our lives.

We were inspired to create a workshop that used these “parts” concepts to really explore our internal environment.  Jessica Mueller, Meghan Hahl, and myself took the “core” messages from Inside Out and ran with them!  We did creative therapy activities that challenged our clients to access their inner child.  They used the language of play to process what was discovered. 

They explored the core memories that were created in childhood and the personality characteristics and relationship dynamics that consequently developed.  Our clients experimented with emotional release for some of these parts and engaged in an activity that allowed them to have a conversation with each of their internal parts!  Congratulations to all of them for stepping out of their comfort zones and leaning into the healing process.  We are so proud!  This workshop helped each of them get creative, get connected, and take a leap in their healing journeys!  After all, we do want to find JOY in the JOURNEY!

Holly Smith, LMHC

Senior Therapist, Clinical Coordinator