https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUVtdMqXB3w&t=244s

11 years ago, a stranger broke into my home. After sexually assaulting me at gunpoint, he took me to an ATM where he robbed me of every penny I had. It was the scariest, and most traumatizing, thing I have ever experienced.

As someone who has experienced the court process firsthand, I can tell you a victim’s suffering does not end with the attack. Rather, it continues as we navigate a complicated system which works for the criminal, but not the victim.

I’ve been a supporter of Amendment 6, Marsy’s Law for Florida, since it was first introduced because I believe victims and their families should have the same exact rights and protections as those accused or convicted of a crime.

I believe these rights and protections should exist in the state’s most powerful legal document so there is no question as to what rights victims are entitled to and whether or not they are enforced.

What is in the constitution right now is not enough –

• It is ambiguous and leaves too much up for interpretation.
• Statutes can easily be changed from one legislative session to another.
• The accused have specific protections outlined in the U.S. Constitution, crime victims only receive a single vague sentence in our state constitution with no real means of enforcement.

Amendment 6 presents an opportunity to strengthen these laws, by:

• Ensuring crime victims, or their families in the event of a tragic loss of life, are afforded similar constitutional protections to the accused.
• The rights of the accused would not change or weaken, however, the two parties will finally be considered equal in the eyes of the law.

This means everything to crime victims. We deserve to be seen as those with real emotions who went through a painful ordeal we did not ask for, rather than simply evidence in the case.

My story would have been different had Marsy’s Law been in place.

By acting as his own counsel, my attacker was afforded access to all of my personal information as well as those of my witnesses. He not only stole my identity but made harassing phone calls to me and my witnesses from jail, in the attempts of scaring us out of testifying against him. There was nothing anyone could do – the state attorney and sheriff’s departments’ hands were tied. As wonderful as they were in handling my case, they were only as strong as the law allowed them to be and that meant his right to identify his accuser trumped my right to privacy and to be free from intimidation.

Marsy’s Law would also provide crime victims with a voice, which is something I wish I had in the court process. After all, I certainly didn’t have a say in being attacked, so shouldn’t I at least have one in deciding what happens?

My attacker was originally given four consecutive life sentences given the violent nature of his crime. Recently, though, his sentence was reduced to just 50 years, and he will now be eligible for parole one day.

I was not notified when he was appealing to the Supreme Court. I was not asked if scheduling the re-sentencing hearing on my birthday was a convenient day for me. And my input was not taken into consideration at the hearing, even though the court’s decision directly impacted my safety and the safety of others.

Crime victims all across the state have similar stories. All we are asking for are the same rights given to criminals, nothing more and nothing less.

Crime victims deserve to be protected under our state’s most powerful legal document, just as a person accused of a crime does. Amendment 6 would provide Florida crime victims with many fair, common-sense protections, but there are a few things this law would NOT do.

This law does not guarantee outcomes. It does not interfere with prosecutorial discretion. It does not add a burden to the system. And, it does not infringe upon the numerous protections afforded to those accused or convicted of a crime.

What my attacker did to me was horrific, but I certainly do not believe my rights should outweigh his.

All I want is to be viewed as an equal party, to know that I have a voice, and that my voice matters.

I implore you to remember my story and stand up for past, present, and future crime victims when you go to vote this election season.

In 1996, the Board of County Commissioners agreed that a portion of the jails’ proceeds needed to be allocated to recovery services for crime survivors in the community and decided to allocate the funding from payphones in the jail to create a support agency. Commissioner Mary Johnson helped lead the charge for victims’ rights and the need for community services. By 1999 the Victim Service Center had opened its doors in the heart of downtown Orlando and was ready to help victims on their journey to healing.

In 2001, the Victim Service Center was incorporated as a nonprofit organization and became Victim Service Center of Orange County, Inc. That same year we opened the Sexual Assault Treatment Center (SATC), providing forensic examinations and medical intervention to sexual assault survivors. VSC ultimately became the only certified rape crisis program in Orange County through the Florida Council Against Sexual Violence (FCASV) just four years later in 2005.

2012 was a big year for for VSC; we became the Victim Service Center of Central Florida, Inc., moved to our current home on Michigan Street, and expanded to Osceola County offering all of our same services out of the Care Center. We also expanded our client offerings to include a full-time in-house therapy program to help clients dive deeper into their healing.

In the summer of 2014, VSC developed partnerships with the local detention centers in Orange and Osceola County to provide inmates with access to VSC’s sexual assault helpline directly. This effort assisted the detention centers in meeting the Prison Rape elimination Act requirements and allowed inmates who have experienced sexual assault while in detention the opportunity to speak with experienced Victim Advocates trained in the area of sexual violence and crisis intervention. In January 2015, VSC was contracted to provide in-person Sexual Trauma Services at the Orange County Detention Center. Services include Education and Awareness groups as well as individual and group Therapy aimed to assist female inmates with addressing emotional issues resulting from sexual trauma.  The program offers the opportunity for the participants to identify and replace dysfunctional coping patterns with appropriate coping skills, which is essential for long-term change and recovery to occur.

In 2016, we proudly expanded with a third office in Longwood to serve Seminole County, further extending our reach and providing services to more victims in need.

In order to keep up with our growth we actively began  fundraising to enhance our opportunities as a center with our first event at the Orlando Science Center in 2007 and later moved to the Mennello Museum of Art where we officially launched our signature event, Cheers to Change. [Some might remember our Executive Director, Lui, hanging signs off the edge of the museum.] Now five years later, Cheers to Change has grown into a highly anticipated 400+ person event, which is in large part due to our loyal and generous supporters who came out to make a difference in the lives of victims in our community.  Thank you for always making joining us at Cheers to Change a priority year after year.

Outreach and prevention has always been part of our work, but in 2015 we officially launched an education training program. We offer training’s on bullying as well as sexual harassment and assault to organizations and businesses. Our anti-bullying youth focused trainings cover the understanding that while it is never okay to bully another individual often times the bully is also being bullied. Our educators discuss how to stand up and be an active bystander for someone in these situations with direct, distract, and delegation options. Recently, we have been having a lot of conversation around our healthy relationship trainings, which can be adapted for any age where the conversation revolves around boundaries, trust, and consent.

With such a strong seventeen year history you might ask what could be next for VSC? While we have grown as an organization, there is still so much work to be done to help victims and spread the message of prevention. Nationally, according to RAINN, every 98 seconds another individual experiences sexual assault, and out of those, two out of three will go unreported. It is our responsibility as an organization, and as a community to help bring healing to those individuals by letting them know it is safe to seek help. With your help we can continue to bring healing to those who need it most.

I would say that before starting this treatment it is essential to have your mental health in control. In my case, it took a few months before I started the EMDR therapy since it was a priority to stabilize my depression.

EMDR was presented to me as the best alternative to approach my case. Before my therapist mentioned it, I had no idea what it was. After a quick search on the internet, I discovered that EMDR is a form of therapy that involves only the patient, his thoughts, and the therapist as a guide. My first thought was that maybe I would have to speak about the traumatizing experience openly, and that made me scared but that was not the case. Later on, I came to understand that it is more of an exercise of self-reflection. In the beginning, I was skeptical since I am very self-aware of my thoughts and I highly doubted that it would work for me.

The first therapy was an interesting experience but it made me feel like something was missing or that maybe I had done something wrong. I was incredibly alert of my thoughts as my therapist started on the first phase. It consisted of imagining three different things; first a container, something to retain your thoughts in the form of any physical object. Then, you have to imagine a safe place where you can mentally visit if you become overwhelmed; and lastly, a safe word in case you start feeling like you cannot handle the memory processing. Basically the therapist pitches a prompt and you have to envision the scenario as you listen to binaural music. When I finished my first session I felt a little concerned and afraid since I wasn’t able to feel what I was asked for, my brain wasn’t envisioning anything at all, just pitch black (because closing my eyes helped) and the sound of my thoughts.

By the time I got home, I realized the drive home was as important as the session itself as I had been able to finish ruminating on the memories. I started to think that maybe this was a result of the therapy but I was still unconvinced on the method after not being able to envision anything that I was prompted to imagine during the session. During the second EMDR session, things went a lot easier and I started to get the hang of it, the key was in letting go of the fear of judgment and insecurity. The best thing I did was be open with myself because, in reality, I was literally having a mental conversation with myself. The therapist gives you a prompt, you sit on it for a while, and then you report on how you feel. You can describe how you feel in any way you want, there is no specific way to express your thoughts. Once you become comfortable with the process is when your brain gets up to speed with the process until finally your thoughts are just come out like a stream. When you reach the comfort zone, there is no concern about doing anything wrong because you already know the ecosystem you have created and now you inhabit it within yourself, in your conscience.

As I progressed in the sessions I started unveiling the real reason why I was going to therapy. The more I recalled events, the more it made me afraid to come back to therapy. It is not an easy task to recall these memories, but trust me when I say that it is worth it to finish the treatment. I personally believe that it is healthier to cover a wound that has been opened because later on, it could get worse. The good thing about this therapy is that it is not going to get worse, it gets better and you actually start seeing the effects in each day that passes. In my case, by the third session, I was already noticing positive changes in my personal life, unconscious behavior, and thoughts.

I know that you are reading this from an outsider’s point of view of course. However, EMDR has proven to me that it is a very powerful healing device for traumatic experiences and I want to share my great experience with others. Most of the effects are developed by the subconscious and most of the results do not happen during the therapy. They happen later on when you are not focused on seeing the effects. The hardest part is the remembrance. Towards the end of the therapy, the perspective on the memories changed drastically for me. At the beginning of the treatment I felt like I was reliving the events and in some cases I had to visit the safe place I had established in the beginning. However, at the end of the treatment it felt like I was so distant from the memory that I could only describe it as seeing it on a screen that was far away from me, I felt disconnected from it. By that time my feelings, thoughts, and anxiety had been sorted. I felt the relief of the things that were controlling me subconsciously such as drastic humor changes, un-rational insecurities, fears, and most importantly the hidden sorrow that I dragged with me for so many years.

I am glad I concluded the process all the way through. I even waited some time to see if the effects would last or if it was something temporary. I can say with full satisfaction about this treatment that I would totally recommend giving EMDR a try. There are no implications, it is very simple and safe, there is no pressure to face remembrance since you work at your own pace, and most importantly it provides you with techniques that are applicable to all situations in life. This way of processing memories changed my life, and there is no exaggeration to what I just said, it did change me for good. It was truly beneficial to me and I am pretty sure that the first step to getting into it is all about encouragement. Trust me there is nothing to lose, from the moment you begin, things only get better. Even if you decide to stop because it does not convince you. However, go all the way through with the processing and you will get yourself an incredible life-changing experience.

Hi, I’m JoAnn, a silent victim. My husband was a victim of an attempted murder at his place of employment by a disgruntle ex-coworker who ended up stabbing him in his head with a pair of scissors.  During his outpatient therapies, his speech therapist asked me if I was taking care of myself and talking to anyone because I am also a victim.  She handed me a card to VSC, Victim Service Center of Central Florida.

I called immediately and was able to come in, fill out their information sheet and just a couple weeks later I was meeting with both an Advocate and Therapist, who I still see today even though the attack on my husband happened on Jan 1, 2016.

When I first came to VSC, I was so overwhelmed with emotions. Waking up that morning to a phone call telling me there was an incident between my husband and his attacker and he’d been taken to the hospital, only later to discover he had been stabbed in the head with a pair of scissors, with only a 50/50 chance of survival.  As the days went on, watching him in a coma not knowing if when he woke up if he would remember me or what disabilities he might have.  When he did awake and knew who I was, our next hurdle was relearning how to walk, speak, write, read, which correct utensils to use while eating.  Watching a grown man, anyone you love having to relearn these basic developmental skills like they were a child, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to watch.  My emotions were everywhere!  From happy he was alive, to heartbroken watching him try to read a book like See Spot Run, to anger at the man who did this.  I felt ALONE……

VSC has been a life saver for me. My Advocate was able to help me with the criminal trial for my husband’s attacker.  She was a huge help guiding me in the direction I wanted to go with my Victim Impact Statement.  I wanted to keep it professional yet get my word across to the judge explaining how this act of violence had affected me just as much as my husband.  Luckily, my Advocate was able to attend the trial which helped more when it came to time to read my statement at the sentencing and being there for the support I needed to get through this.

I also see a therapist at VSC, continues to help me today with coping and teaching me ways to work through the stress and anxiety of “my new normal” as I like to call it. I’m able to control the anger I have towards the person who changed not only my husband’s life, but my life!   Because of VSC, I no longer feel alone.  I know that if I’m having a bad day and need someone to talk to, I can call the 24/7 hour hotline, 407-500-HEAL, and there will be someone there to just listen and to let me know however I am feeling in that moment is okay and tomorrow is a new day.

The donations VSC receives to provide professional care and help to victims and their families is so important, because I honestly do not know if I could be as strong as I’ve become for myself and my husband without their help.

We have the opportunity to continue the dialogue and discuss ways we can create social change. Sexual violence is an epidemic and is a victimization experienced by all ages, genders, ethnicities, and socioeconomic groups. The damage is deep and the pain that results is incredibly real. Whether you vow to be an active bystander, reflect on how you treat others, or advocate for those who have suffered in silence, we ask you to use your voice and demand better treatment of others.

Many of you have shared #MeToo as your status. We applaud your bravery and stand with you. Whether or not you’ve shared your story on social media, please know we are here, around-the-clock, to help you as you go through your healing journey. Call 407-500-HEAL to reach our 24/7 confidential helpline.

Written by: Orialis, VSC Crisis Counselor

Many victims are in an intimate relationship with their abuser. Sexual assault and domestic violence exist within the scope of oppression. It is how a perpetrator abuses power and control over a victim. A perpetrator can use a variety of violent and non-violent methods to take away a victim’s agency. These may include: violence, intimidation, emotional abuse, controlling money, making the victim feel like they are “crazy”, and sexual assault. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (FCADV) reports that about 15-25% of women are sexually assaulted by an intimate partner. Sexual violence is another way of controlling and taking away a person’s agency. Although some domestic violence victims have outward signs of abuse, many suffer abuse in other ways.

Sometimes the wounds of domestic and sexual violence are invisible. Victims of intimate partner violence are at a high risk for depression and anxiety. Ninety-four percent of women who are raped experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) during the two weeks following the rape, and one third contemplate suicide.

One particularly dangerous aspect of domestic violence is the isolation that results from the victimization. As a way to control the victim, an abuser may not let the victim remain in contact with their friends or family. In some cases, the victim doesn’t even realize they have been isolated.

In my experience as a crisis counselor, many of my clients have stated that they didn’t seek help sooner because they were scared. Imagine that the person that is supposed to love and care for you is also the person hurting you the most. It can be a huge feat to trust others following this type of betrayal. When a victim fears that they will not be believed or if they are isolated from resources, they may be less likely to seek support. Many of my clients have been dealing with this silently for years before feeling safe enough to ask for help.

Oftentimes, our society does not believe that an individual can be a victim of sexual violence by their spouse or partner. As long as we continue this narrative and do not acknowledge the sexual violence between partners, we dismiss a huge portion of survivors. The link between sexual violence and domestic violence in undeniable.

For survivors, you are worthy.  You are worth of understanding, empathy, and kindness. At the Victim Service Center, we are here to believe you and to help you. We want to walk alongside you through your journey. To make an appointment, please call 407-254-9415. If you need to speak with our crisis counselor, please call 407-500-HEAL.

When the worst tragedy occurred, you showed your steadfast support to aid those most in need. For that, we are eternally grateful.

Our team was shocked and saddened by the senseless act of the Pulse shooting which took 49 lives, injured countless others, and destroyed our great community’s sense of peace and safety. In the early morning hours of darkness, we came together in an inspiring, powerful way that showed the world true strength, unity, and compassion.

We received the call to respond to Orlando Regional Medical Center to provide crisis support to the victims and their families. “We were all shocked by what had happened but we knew we had the skills to help the survivors and the families of the deceased cope with their trauma and grief,” said Kristin, VSC’s first staff member to respond to the call. Upon learning the magnitude and severity of the tragedy, our entire crisis response team was quickly mobilized to be with the families as they awaited news on the status of their loved ones.

Our team worked side by side with the FBI, FDLE, and other law enforcement agencies as information was released to family members. “Our staff was uniquely qualified to respond to the tragedy and took on the significant responsibility of notifying families that their loved one did not survive the attack,” said JoEllen, VSC’s Program Director. We were able to provide support to the families not only through our counseling services, but also by arranging transportation and lodging, making funeral arrangements, and assisting with other needs. Your generous contributions allowed our team to be on the front lines helping families begin to put the broken pieces of their lives back together.

Many of the victims and their families were Spanish speaking, which created additional fear, not knowing if others would be able to understand them when they expressed their pain. “Being bilingual and Hispanic, I was able to console them and provide the emotional support they needed in their native language to offer comfort and strength,” said Indhira, one of the VSC’s bilingual crisis counselors.

In the weeks following the shooting, the Orlando United Assistance Center opened to help victims and their families navigate the system and receive long-term support. We now have a therapist and victim advocate stationed at the OUAC providing support to the victims and their loved ones. “Emotional healing from a trauma is a long and painful journey. We are here to provide compassionate, individualized services for the victims and their loved ones; to walk with them hand in hand to recover a sense of power over their lives,” said Lucy, VSC’s Pulse therapist.

Because of you, our team had the resources to respond to the worst mass shooting in our great country’s history. Because of you, we have been able to provide free, unlimited, and confidential services to Pulse victims and their families. Because of you, we will continue to serve anyone needing our services, for as long as they are needed.

“We couldn’t be more proud to stand together with you to help heal our amazing community,” said Lui Damiani, VSC’s Executive Director. Thank you for your
unwavering support.

With sincere gratitude,

The Victim Service Center Team

The Internal Family

When I first saw the Disney movie: Inside Out, I was amazed.  The core principles of mental health, healing, and internal dialogue were perfectly captured!  With all the movies these days misrepresenting what therapy is and how healing occurs, I was pleasantly surprised to see these concepts displayed in such an energizing, kid-friendly way.  The idea that we have parts of ourselves that may not always agree and sometimes even argue amongst themselves has historically brought judgment and shame.  We have called ourselves “crazy” when we listen to this internal system and worse when we take is seriously.  Well times are a changin’!  We are acknowledging and validating this complicated internal system and now allowing it to be a healing force in our lives.

We were inspired to create a workshop that used these “parts” concepts to really explore our internal environment.  Jessica Mueller, Meghan Hahl, and myself took the “core” messages from Inside Out and ran with them!  We did creative therapy activities that challenged our clients to access their inner child.  They used the language of play to process what was discovered. 

They explored the core memories that were created in childhood and the personality characteristics and relationship dynamics that consequently developed.  Our clients experimented with emotional release for some of these parts and engaged in an activity that allowed them to have a conversation with each of their internal parts!  Congratulations to all of them for stepping out of their comfort zones and leaning into the healing process.  We are so proud!  This workshop helped each of them get creative, get connected, and take a leap in their healing journeys!  After all, we do want to find JOY in the JOURNEY!

Holly Smith, LMHC

Senior Therapist, Clinical Coordinator

With holiday gatherings right around the corner, many people may find that their expectations for a good time as well as their anxiety regarding the people, places, and topics that may or may not present themselves can seemingly cripple a person’s ability to enjoy what are supposed to be the merriest times of the year. Holiday gatherings aren’t always what we hope they will be, whether they are work functions, family celebrations, or spontaneous get-togethers with old hometown friends. When dealing with a situation that you feel may trigger your memories of a sexual victimization, it’s important to give yourself permission to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. In some situations this may mean arriving with a prepared excuse in hand for when you are ready to leave, and it may mean declining an invitation altogether. Below are some tips to help you take full advantage of the holiday gatherings you will be invited to attend, while maintaining your boundaries and continuing to take care of yourself first.

1. Prepare for opportunities, for example if there is a family member you rarely see that you would like to speak to, make a plan for when may be a good time to pull the person aside and what you might want to say.
2. Similarly, prepare for deficits. For example, if there is a specific family member who may or may not be there who has been known to act in a way that makes you uncomfortable, prepare multiple tools to take care of yourself.
3. If you are attending a gathering that you are unsure of how you will react to the people or even the place, prepare a specific and simple excuse to use if you become uncomfortable and wish to leave early. Give yourself permission to use it.
4. Set an alarm or two on your phone as a reminder to check in on yourself and take a breather from the festivities. This can be as simple as going to the bathroom. Splash some cold water on your face, or your wrists, or the back of your neck.
5. Ask a close friend to text you at a specific time to check in on you and give you an exit strategy if you need it.
6. Carry a small interesting tactile object like a stone or a penny to use as a grounding object.
7. Carry a travel sized lotion or essential oil of a calming scent such as lavender that you can dab on your wrists to center yourself.
8. If you start to feel overwhelmed at a gathering, go outside for some fresh air.

While the holidays are about giving, they are still a time when it remains of the utmost importance to take care of you. Listen to your mind and your body-you know what you need. All you need to do is to acknowledge your value and give yourself permission to put yourself first.

I am writing to express my sincerest gratitude to the Victim Service Center of Central Florida and most particularly, my Therapist, Theresa. I would be remiss if I did not take the time to say “Thank You!” Theresa proved to be God-sent to me during a most difficult time in my life. She was professional, attentive, warm, caring and effective as she walked me out of the darkness and back into the light. I will be forever grateful for her and your organization!

When I first visited VSC for my first appointment, I felt so helpless, overwhelmed and confused about how to overcome the aftermath of sexual assault and harassment. I had undergone victim blaming and had started succumbing to all the emotional and psychological pressures. Theresa validated that I was the victim and helped me understand and cope with the situation. So many blessings and so much healing came with every session until I felt strong again. She also prepared me for any triggers that could blind-side me and send me back into emotional turmoil.

In addition to my healing concerning sexual assault and harassment in the workplace, Theresa was instrumental in encouraging a conversation with my younger sister who had been sexually assaulted as a child. After I left my session with Theresa on that particular day, I called my sister. I was finally able to understand her pain and why she had not fully healed after 30 plus years. Some of her behaviors and attitudes toward men were harsh, even if they loved her dearly. Most importantly, my sister lived with the fact that I did not fully understand how traumatic the experience was for her, and that in itself was a burden she was still carrying. That day on the phone, we cried and cried as we shared our feelings and experience. God was in the midst because we realized in that moment a heavy weight caused by misunderstanding and resentment had finally been lifted. I truly thank Theresa for being a vessel and having the insight to know my sister’s situation was not so unique to my own. What was meant for bad turned out to be for our good. I am confident Theresa can relate to this statement on a spiritual level.

I engaged in my final session with Theresa last week. It was indeed bittersweet. I will miss her and our sessions. I so enjoyed having her as my therapist. She was absolutely awesome. I wish her all the best with her future endeavors and her life. Please share this letter with her and her colleagues. I hope all can exemplify the wonderful work she performed in my life. She was truly a blessing!

As a token of my appreciation and special donation, please accept the enclosed check for $500.00. God bless you all and the wonderful service you provide!

Sincerely,

A Former VSC Client