With holiday gatherings right around the corner, many people may find that their expectations for a good time as well as their anxiety regarding the people, places, and topics that may or may not present themselves can seemingly cripple a person’s ability to enjoy what are supposed to be the merriest times of the year. Holiday gatherings aren’t always what we hope they will be, whether they are work functions, family celebrations, or spontaneous get-togethers with old hometown friends. When dealing with a situation that you feel may trigger your memories of a sexual victimization, it’s important to give yourself permission to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. In some situations this may mean arriving with a prepared excuse in hand for when you are ready to leave, and it may mean declining an invitation altogether. Below are some tips to help you take full advantage of the holiday gatherings you will be invited to attend, while maintaining your boundaries and continuing to take care of yourself first.

1. Prepare for opportunities, for example if there is a family member you rarely see that you would like to speak to, make a plan for when may be a good time to pull the person aside and what you might want to say.
2. Similarly, prepare for deficits. For example, if there is a specific family member who may or may not be there who has been known to act in a way that makes you uncomfortable, prepare multiple tools to take care of yourself.
3. If you are attending a gathering that you are unsure of how you will react to the people or even the place, prepare a specific and simple excuse to use if you become uncomfortable and wish to leave early. Give yourself permission to use it.
4. Set an alarm or two on your phone as a reminder to check in on yourself and take a breather from the festivities. This can be as simple as going to the bathroom. Splash some cold water on your face, or your wrists, or the back of your neck.
5. Ask a close friend to text you at a specific time to check in on you and give you an exit strategy if you need it.
6. Carry a small interesting tactile object like a stone or a penny to use as a grounding object.
7. Carry a travel sized lotion or essential oil of a calming scent such as lavender that you can dab on your wrists to center yourself.
8. If you start to feel overwhelmed at a gathering, go outside for some fresh air.

While the holidays are about giving, they are still a time when it remains of the utmost importance to take care of you. Listen to your mind and your body-you know what you need. All you need to do is to acknowledge your value and give yourself permission to put yourself first.

I am writing to express my sincerest gratitude to the Victim Service Center of Central Florida and most particularly, my Therapist, Theresa. I would be remiss if I did not take the time to say “Thank You!” Theresa proved to be God-sent to me during a most difficult time in my life. She was professional, attentive, warm, caring and effective as she walked me out of the darkness and back into the light. I will be forever grateful for her and your organization!

When I first visited VSC for my first appointment, I felt so helpless, overwhelmed and confused about how to overcome the aftermath of sexual assault and harassment. I had undergone victim blaming and had started succumbing to all the emotional and psychological pressures. Theresa validated that I was the victim and helped me understand and cope with the situation. So many blessings and so much healing came with every session until I felt strong again. She also prepared me for any triggers that could blind-side me and send me back into emotional turmoil.

In addition to my healing concerning sexual assault and harassment in the workplace, Theresa was instrumental in encouraging a conversation with my younger sister who had been sexually assaulted as a child. After I left my session with Theresa on that particular day, I called my sister. I was finally able to understand her pain and why she had not fully healed after 30 plus years. Some of her behaviors and attitudes toward men were harsh, even if they loved her dearly. Most importantly, my sister lived with the fact that I did not fully understand how traumatic the experience was for her, and that in itself was a burden she was still carrying. That day on the phone, we cried and cried as we shared our feelings and experience. God was in the midst because we realized in that moment a heavy weight caused by misunderstanding and resentment had finally been lifted. I truly thank Theresa for being a vessel and having the insight to know my sister’s situation was not so unique to my own. What was meant for bad turned out to be for our good. I am confident Theresa can relate to this statement on a spiritual level.

I engaged in my final session with Theresa last week. It was indeed bittersweet. I will miss her and our sessions. I so enjoyed having her as my therapist. She was absolutely awesome. I wish her all the best with her future endeavors and her life. Please share this letter with her and her colleagues. I hope all can exemplify the wonderful work she performed in my life. She was truly a blessing!

As a token of my appreciation and special donation, please accept the enclosed check for $500.00. God bless you all and the wonderful service you provide!

Sincerely,

A Former VSC Client