LGBTQ+ is an umbrella term that encompasses many identities. All of those identities are important and they all carry their own different experiences. People that hold those different identities are often victimized in different ways.

It’s important to uplift and bring awareness to those specific experiences in order to validate the experiences of survivors.

According to the National Survey of Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence, conducted by Waiters et al in 2013, Bisexual women,  had a significantly higher lifetime prevalence of rape and sexual violence other than rape by any perpetrator when compared to both lesbian and heterosexual women.¹

A specific sexual violence phenomenon that commonly affects lesbian women is corrective rape. Corrective rape is when lesbian women are sexually assaulted by men in order to “correct” their homosexuality.

The prevalence of rape over a lifetime for men is:

• – Gay – numbers are too small
• – Bisexual – numbers are too small
• – Heterosexual – 0.7%¹

However, these numbers are due to gay and bisexual men facing an increased number of barriers when reporting sexual assault. These barriers include:

• “Why didn’t you fight back?”

• Fear of being discriminated against when reporting

• Expected masculinity

• Fear of being told they “wanted it” because they are attracted to men.

According to the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey, almost 50% of trans, non-binary, gender nonconforming individuals report having experienced sexual violence in their lifetime.²

Sexual violence victimization is much more prevalent in trans individuals that are also black, indigenous, and people of color. Out of the 47% that indicated having been sexually assaulted, 65% identified as Native American, 59% were multi-racial, 58% were middle eastern, and 53% were Black.²

There are also many identities that fall under the transgender umbrella, as transgender is anyone that identifies as something other than the gender they were assigned at birth so not only does that include trans women, trans men but also non-binary people and gender non-confirming identities. However, there is not enough research regarding their experiences of sexual violence, but their experiences are still valid.

Intersex people often experience something known as medicalized rape. From a young age, they are taught their genitals must look a certain way in order to fit within the binary of male or female sex, so medical professionals often perform surgery on them during their youth. As they get older, intersex people often regret these surgeries, as they come to terms with their intersex bodies, and realize that this surgery was done without their consent. An example of one of those surgeries is known as vaginoplasty, which is basically dilation of the vagina if they are deemed not too deep enough for penetration. Intersex children are sometimes required to have genital examinations, to see whether the surgeries were successful. This is a form of sexual abuse that many intersex people have to endure as children.

A recent survey from European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights (FRA) found that 22%of intersex respondents have experienced physical or sexual assault.³

Our society is often sexually-driven, this makes it incredibly hard for asexual individuals to be accepted and it makes them often victims of sexual violence. A phenomenon mentioned as corrective rape is also experienced by asexual people. Their asexuality is often viewed as not normal and something that must be fixed through corrective rape. According to the 2015 Asexual Census, 43.5% of 8,000 asexual people surveyed reported having experienced sexual violence such as rape and coercion.⁴

Sources:

¹Walters, M.L., Chen J., & Breiding, M.J. (2013). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Findings on Victimization by Sexual Orientation. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

²James, S. E., Herman, J. L., Rankin, S., Keisling, M., Mottet, L., & Anafi, M. (2016). The report of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey. Retrieved from the National Center for Transgender Equality: https://www.transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/USTS-Full-Report-FINAL.PDF

³European Union: European Agency for Fundamental Rights, The fundamental rights situation of intersex people, May 2015, FRA Focus 04/2015, available at: https://www.refworld.org/docid/5551c3524.html [accessed 2 May 2022]

⁴Bauer, C., Miller, T., Ginoza, M., Chiang, A., Youngblom, K., Baba, A., Pinnell, J., Penten, P., Meinhold, M., Ramaraj, V. (2017). The 2015 Asexual Census Summary Report. Retrieved from https://asexualcensus.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/2015_ace_census_summary_report.pdf

Whether you consider yourself LGBTQ+ or not, we’ve all been to the doctor. We’ve all been sick at some point or another, made a doctor’s appointment, and sat in the waiting room wondering about what happens next. What if you just changed doctors and this is your first appointment with them? Are you comfortable sharing your personal and medical background with them? Is there anything that you think would cause the doctor to turn you away without a referral to someone who can? What if they ask you an intimate question that they don’t really need to know about you but ask out of “curiosity”? For many LGBTQ+ individuals, these are very real fears.

Imagine for a moment that a person, Alex, gets sick and has to go to the doctor. Imagine that they make the appointment and are sitting in the waiting room. Out comes a nurse assistant and they call for “Jordan”. It’s not the person’s name but they’re the only one sitting in the waiting room so they stand up and walk to the nurse assistant. They tell the nurse assistant that their name is Alex, not Jordan. The nurse assistant says okay and continues through the routine weight and blood pressure tests. The nurse assistant takes Alex to a room where they tell them to wait for the doctor who will be in shortly. Imagine the doctor comes into the room and calls the patient Jordan. Alex corrects the doctor, just as they had the nurse assistant. The doctor then asks about medications, past surgeries, and any “current boyfriends”. Alex explains that they have a long-time partner and there’s an awkward silence after which point the doctor makes a joke about how they “must love not having to worry about getting pregnant”. Alex is a nonbinary trans person who was assigned female at birth and hasn’t legally changed their name. When Alex said they had a partner the doctor automatically assumed the gender of their partner to be female, and out of fear Alex didn’t correct the doctor, leading Alex to not disclose important information about their sexual history and concerns they had about HIV and STDs. Alex left the appointment feeling invalidated, scared, and unsure of where to turn.

In this example, Alex is deadnamed by the nurse assistant as well as the doctor. Alex is assumed to be heterosexual, and their sex assigned at birth is also assumed. This is problematic because it puts Alex in the position of having to correct the doctor’s assumptions in order to get the care that they need. Alex may feel unsafe to disclose their identity to the doctor for a number of reasons that could be personal to their life experiences. Many LGBTQ+ patients fear their medical interactions because of microaggressions, heteronormative assumptions, prejudice, lack of acceptance, and need for self-advocacy/provider education. LGBTQ+ patients also fear the possibility of a healthcare provider displaying blatant discrimination against them.

This is just one example of the ways in which LGBTQ+ individuals have been treated by medical professionals. Work still needs to be done in order to ensure the safety and acceptance of LGBTQ+ individuals within healthcare systems.

In this article, we will discuss how healthcare professionals can provide affirming care for their LGBTQ+ patients and why it’s important to do so.

Why do LGBTQ+ Individuals Need Specific Healthcare?

Medical professionals are looked to for guidance in scary and unpredictable times in a patient’s life. For someone who is LGBTQ+, this can also provide added stress out of fear of rejection, humiliation, and frustration by their medical professionals. This is evident in the fact that more than 1 in 6 LGBTQ+ adults reported avoiding health care due to anticipated discrimination while another 1 in 6 LGBTQ+ adults reported experiencing discrimination in health care encounters.[1] This shows that just simply the fear of discrimination is a deterrent from receiving healthcare. Whether they are othered by their sexuality or gender identity (or both), microaggressions and discrimination lead patients to feel unsafe in an environment that is supposed to help and provide answers for their discomfort — not add to it.

Providing specific healthcare services for LGBTQ+ individuals can also help to make the experience of going to the doctor feel more comfortable and safe. These services include but are not limited to: gender affirming hormone therapy (GAHT), LGBTQ+ support groups and mental health counseling, as well as HIV and STI testing. While cisgender and/or heterosexual individuals can also be affected by HIV and STIs, gay and bisexual men made up an estimated 2% of the U.S. population in 2013 but 55% of all people living with HIV in the United States.[2] This demonstrates the disproportionate affect that HIV has on the LGBTQ+ community and should be considered when implementing services for them.

Being an LGBTQ+ friendly healthcare provider can look and sound a number of different ways but ultimately it comes down to knowing that that medical professional does not see the LGBTQ+ patient as different or less worthy of respect, empathy, and kindness than their heterosexual, cisgender counterparts.

Steps for Healthcare Providers to Be More LGBTQ+ Friendly:

• Ask for and continuously use a patient’s pronouns
• Do not assume cisgender or heterosexual identity
• Research and learn about LGBTQ+ terminology and gender affirming surgeries
• Do not ask intimate personal or medical questions without justifiable reason
• Change terminology on patient forms to be more inclusive
• Include pamphlets and posters that show LGBTQ+ representation and acceptance

Assuming a person is cisgender or heterosexual can cause a patient to feel pressured to “out” themselves and can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety for the individual. Asking a patient’s pronouns when you first meet them (and providing your own) can be an easy way to make a patient feel seen and validated from the very beginning of the interaction and, through continued use of their correct pronouns, throughout the appointment. Using more gender-neutral terms like “partner” or “significant other” in reference to patient relationships is a simple and effective way to not assume a patient’s sexual orientation and allows them to disclose their identity if they choose.

LGBTQ+ individuals need their healthcare providers to be knowledgeable about and be open to learning terminology or about the process of a surgery a patient may have undergone to align with their gender. It is also necessary to keep in mind that it should not be the patient’s job to educate the professional and curiosity should never be the justification for invasive questions about intimate details of a person’s medical or personal history.

Keeping all this in mind, it is imperative for healthcare providers to be more LGBTQ+ friendly. It will help their patients to feel more affirmed in their identities and receive that same expected level of care as their heterosexual and/or cisgender counterparts. A study the Trevor Project conducted in 2021 regarding the acceptance of transgender and nonbinary youth and their suicide rates found that trans and nonbinary youth who reported high gender identity acceptance from healthcare professionals had 32% lower odds of attempting suicide in the past year.[3] Affirming a person’s identity is suicide prevention.

If you are a healthcare professional, please consider the steps to become more LGBTQ+ friendly and work towards improving the care that individuals get from your workplace. There is always work to be done to strive for equality but with the help of allies, it becomes a little easier.

If you are a LGBTQ+ individual, please know that steps are being taken to make healthcare providers more affirming. You are not alone, and you deserve to feel validated and respected.

Resources for Healthcare Providers

Guidelines for the Primary and Gender-Affirming Care of Transgender and Gender Nonbinary People

Perceptions of Healthcare Experiences: Relational and Communicative Competencies to Improve Care for LGBT People

Providing Inclusive Services and Care for LGBTQ+ People: A Guide for Health Care Staff

Discrimination in the United States: Experiences of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer Americans

Resources for LGBTQ+ Individuals in Central Florida

Spektrum Health

26Health

The Center

Bliss Cares

Hope & Help

Resources for all LGBTQ+ Individuals

Trevor Project

GLSEN

Human Rights Campaign

PFLAG

by Isaac Salazar (He/Him/Él), UCF MSC Assistant Student Director, Senior Psychology and English Major

As my coming out anniversary approaches this upcoming January, I look back at the past five years and how much has happened since then. The ages between 16 and 21 have been equal amounts of joyous and challenging, and these experiences molded me into the person that I am today; however, frankly, I was not expecting to be where I am today. Through this post, I hope to share with you all my journey to feeling empowered as a Trans person in my twenties, and some insight that I wish I had at the beginning of it.

“Although I thought I had a pretty “clear image” in my head of what I wanted to be and look like, my journey was not that linear in the slightest.”

In addition to the many, many physical changes I’ve gone through, my perception on gender, expression, and community have changed drastically. What started out as what I thought to be a very straight-forward journey of gender discovery, ended up being much more convoluted and confusing one. Once I realized I was Trans, I thought the path ahead of me was pretty clear – I would come out once I moved out at 18, change my name, and start my physical transition, in that order. Although I thought I had a pretty “clear image” in my head of what I wanted to be and look like, my journey was not that linear in the slightest. Frankly, I did not start feeling empowered in my gender identity until very recently. 

My initial perspective on gender and gender expression was inevitably affected by my experience coming from a family of Latinx immigrants. Growing up in Colombia, I was embedded in a culture where hyper-binaries were the norm. As I grew up struggling to fit in with the hyper-feminine side of the spectrum, the only other side I knew of existing was the hyper-masculine one. Learning about trans and non-binary identities was eye-opening, as it added a middle ground and a new possibility. 

I felt such an incredible disconnect from my femininity – such a big “anything but that” feeling – that I figured that since I never got to express my masculine side, I was on the complete opposite side of the gender spectrum. I quickly recognized that I aligned more with masculinity; I experienced more euphoria from being seen and honored as a man. Alongside this came my perception of masculinity that was so second nature to me, and that I had yet to recognize could be borderline toxic. By the age of 17, with what I thought of as a good understanding of the gender spectrum, I was still oblivious to how these perceptions hindered my empowerment in my identity. I didn’t realize how far from the truth I was.

“in theory, I knew that there was no right way to be a man, I just couldn’t apply that to myself“

As a younger Transgender boy, I thought being a “man” was pretty textbook. Once I moved to Orlando at age 18, I took the newfound freedom and ran with it. I started going by my chosen name and pronouns, I bought myself a new (and very masculine) wardrobe and cut my hair, and I fully socialized myself as male in my new hometown. During these times, I was also engaging in what I thought of as those textbook “masculine” behaviors, although they didn’t exactly feel right. I shrugged it off as it being due to going my whole life suppressing these feelings – surely it would take me a second to get comfortable acting like a “real man”, right?

These preconceived notions were leftover from the very limiting environment I grew up in. Even though there is no exact law dictating these gender roles, when everyone else around me seamlessly followed these, I felt incredibly pressured to conform. They were really the only way I knew how to be a man. These thought processes were all internalized – in theory, I knew that there was no right way to be a man, I just couldn’t apply that to myself. I limited the music I listened to, the kinds of food and drinks I had, the shows I watched, among other media I consumed. I policed my tone of voice when speaking to other people, hyper-conscious of how “monotone” and low it needed to be. I would force myself to sit and walk in certain ways, because “real men” had to act a certain way. This need to overcompensate distressed me, because this didn’t feel right either. Although I would never push these thoughts onto other people, I felt cuffed and bound to these perspectives. When I turned 20, I noticed how I still wasn’t as happy as the other Trans people around me were. I thought I was doing everything right, so why was I not feeling empowered in myself?

“Learning is growth, and growth is empowerment!“

I would love to sit here and say I had a clear moment where my perspective shifted, but in all honesty, my journey to self-empowerment has been anything but linear. In reality, over the last year and especially during quarantine 2020, I slowly started implementing small changes that have helped. Many of these were unintentional, and much of this is insight that I have gained through hindsight. If I could guide my younger self through this journey of self-discovery, this is some insight into the things I have implemented to help me through this:

• Express yourself how you want to
  • Let go of the nuances. Simply put, there is literally no right or wrong way to express yourself. Gender identity is separate from gender expression, and neither one of them has a “right” or “wrong” way of being.
    • During quarantine, I took the opportunity to experiment with my gender expression in private out of pure boredom. I bought some second hand clothes online, and repurposed some older clothes, to reflect what I would dress like if I wasn’t afraid of being judged. I kept wearing those around the house, and my comfort increased a lot!
  • There are countless human experiences on earth, meaning there are countless ways for expression to occur. Yours is right. 
  • Finding a place in the world happens from the inside out. You shouldn’t change yourself to fit in. Once you’re comfortable in your own skin, you’ll notice everything else falls into place.
• Check how you address yourself internally
  • Do not humor negative self-talk, or internal policing. Oftentimes, my overcompensation stemmed from self-consciousness – from not feeling like enough of a “man”. Cut those thoughts short, and remind yourself you’re enough!
    • Oftentimes, my brain still asks me “is my voice low enough right now?” or ““am I moving my hands too much?”. I always make sure to stop myself and to redirect the thoughts. I affirm to myself that being myself is the only right way to be, and I affirm myself I am enough.
  • Allow yourself to explore thoughts and feelings. It’s okay to experiment! Honor your ideas, as no one knows you better than you know yourself. 
• Build an affirming support group
  • Do not settle for friends who do not affirm your identity. There are plenty of people who will support, honor, and uplift you and your Trans experience without you having to compromise your comfort. 
    • Over time and by surrounding myself with the right people, I realized that there is space for both my heritage and my LGBTQ+ identity. I build a support system that honors both and the intersection between them. 
    • Find community with other Trans people. Most of my change in perspective came from talking to my Trans friends about how they perceived their own gender. Learning is growth, and growth is empowerment!
  • Surround yourself with people that will make you love your Trans experience. 
• Consume media by and for us
  • The LGBTQ+ community is a treasure box of culture and community. Through queer media, I found myself finding solace in situations that I once found alienating. I realized I wasn’t alone.
  • The LGBTQ+ community is so funny and so talented. Find pride in your community. 
• Learn about our history and witness our resilience 
  • Learning where we came from, how far we’ve gotten, and where we’ve yet to go filled me with pride and a drive to continue the work our pioneers have done.
  • Rest assured that you are part of a massive community full of love, support, and resilience. You’re not alone, nor will you ever be. 
  • Learning is growth, and growth is empowerment!

And on a parting note: Take that feeling of empowerment to continue advocating for your community. Advocacy and understanding will become your ultimate acts of self-love and self-compassion. Through my journey of loving, caring, and advocating for the community I am in, I have fallen in love with my Trans identity, and I have never felt more empowered in myself. 

VSC Resources

VSC is a safe place for people of all genders and gender expressions. If someone feels most comfortable seeing an advocate who identifies within the LGBTQ+ community, VSC has an advocate who works exclusively with LGBTQ+ clients. VSC respects the pronouns a client uses and can change pronouns and/or names as requested. Violence against trans and nonbinary people is unfortunately not uncommon, but VSC is ready to help clients who have experienced violence or trauma due to their gender by offering free counseling, advocacy, therapy, and support groups. Call our office to learn more, or if in a criss our 24/7 helpline is always there (407) 500-HEAL.

by Em Murphy (They/She), UCF Lavender Council Member, Sophomore Art Studio and Game Design Major

Dysphoria

It is Trans Awareness Week and Trans Day of Remembrance, so let’s talk about a very important part of being transgender– experiencing dysphoria. Dysphoria is a complex experience that differs from person to person. Some trans folk don’t even experience it. 

Dysphoria is the distress/discomfort stemming from one’s gender identity not aligning with their biological sex. Dysphoria comes in three different forms, all happening at different times or in different combinations: 

• Cognitive Dysphoria: In which a person’s mind/thoughts are against their gender identity, this is slightly less known, and can involve misgendering oneself or referencing their past self as a separate person
• Social Dysphoria: discomfort occurs when being perceived by others, this can be caused by being misgendered by others, and being titled incorrectly, and is extremely common in nonbinary folk
• Body Dysphoria: This one is the most well known, and has to do with discomfort with the person’s body, which can include a variety of things from height to genitals

I identify as nonbinary, and I use the pronouns They and She, but I prefer They. I’m still exploring the way I express myself and what makes me most comfortable. 

I will tell you now, I’ve had one hell of a year, especially when it comes to looking further into my gender and who I am, or perhaps who I want to be. I may be preaching the idea of loving who you are, but I promise I was plagued with feeling like I wasn’t trans enough to consider myself nonbinary and I over thought it till I felt sick. Until I decided, I needed to just breathe, and let myself have the space to think. Rather, quarantine did. Quarantine has given me, if anything, far too much time to myself to think.

I’m definitely not the ideal stereotype of what a nonbinary person looks like. I’m bigger, very curvy, and it was, and still is, hard to pass as anything but a feminine identity. This is where my experience with dysphoria presented itself. I felt wrong, and a lot of the time I had difficulty perceiving myself or letting myself express my identity in certain ways. It fed into my anxiety, made me feel like I was out of place, and I felt myself drawing in, trying to blend into the background in order to not be perceived.

I honestly didn’t know how I wanted to be perceived as a person, but it wasn’t that. For a while in high school, I tried to reject the feeling that I now recognize as dysphoria, by being hyperfeminine.  When I presented this way, I got the most compliments from family and friends and random strangers, so I thought, this must be the right answer. As time went on, I realized I wasn’t feeling any more comfortable in my body. I wasn’t happy, and I definitely wasn’t enjoying the compliments I was getting. 

Eventually, I cringed away from the use of “she” as a pronoun. I looked at nonbinary people I saw in media and felt like I would never fit what I thought in my head was the blueprint, I wasn’t skinny enough, I didn’t look androgynous enough, the thought of doing anytype of transition scared me. So I thought I would never be perceived the way I wished I would. 

Then as I moved forward, I realized there was no blueprint I needed to be following. There was nothing I had to do to be nonbinary, it was just a matter of saying it. I am nonbinary, no matter how others percieves me. No person, stereotype, or belief defines who you are as a person, in the end that is your decision to make and for others to respect. 

Of course, that doesn’t make me immune to feeling dysphoria when I look in the mirror, or when I’m in a social situation when someone misgenders me. Even with the new confidence I’m trying to exude, sometimes it’s still hard to ignore negative feelings that can come along with it. 

Gender Euphoria 

Let’s talk about an experience I only recently felt for the first time, and it happened so casually that I felt speechless.

Gender Euphoria is almost the opposite of dysphoria, and usually happens when trans folk feel sound in their gender, whether socially, physically, or cognitively. This can be in social situations where their pronouns/names are used correctly or for things that make them feel more comfortable in their gender, like binding or wearing certain clothing. The trans community talks about it often and how experiencing it is different for everyone. For a long time, I thought I would never know what that feels like. 

Then, my wonderful friend (and roommate) Kat existed and gave me one of my first experiences with gender euphoria.

Kat was one of the first people to take my pronouns in stride, when I had honestly accidentally outed the fact I was thinking about changing from using she/her to they/them. I felt myself get nervous and shaky, and it got hard to breathe. I was worried that she was going to be upset or angry, even though I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen her raise her voice. She didn’t react negatively at all, she smiled and asked me if it was okay if she could use my pronouns, and if there was a name I would prefer. 

Later that night, when we were discussing what we had done that day to our other roommates, in a random sentence, Kat used my pronouns. I froze. I completely forgot what I was talking about, my chest swelled with the warmest feeling, and I felt my eyes tear up. 

The moment felt pivotal, there wasn’t any judgement or questioning or hesitation, she gave me the room to say whatever I felt necessary. Writing this now, I’m sure these instances sound small, but that’s the point. This moment, those 10 seconds on a car ride home, and a single sentence meant so much to me. The same thing has happened for so many other people in the trans community. 

It’s not hard to go out of your way to make those in the transgender community more comfortable and supported, and to be an amazing ally! A small list of things to do in everyday life: 

-Say your pronouns at the beginning of conversations

-Be supportive in use of other pronouns

-Make sure to stay educated on trans topics/activists/etc.

-Uplift those who do not have the same privilege as you in any way you can

-Listen to trans voices

Important resources for trans folk and for those who want to know more: 

• Zebra Coalition
• The Center
• GLAAD
• GLESN → https://www.glsen.org/blog/heres-why-non-binary-students-need-allies https://www.glsen.org/activity/gender-triangle-education-guide 
• https://transrespect.org/en/ 

VSC Resources

VSC is a safe place for people of all genders and gender expressions. If someone feels most comfortable seeing an advocate who identifies within the LGBTQ+ community, VSC has an advocate who works exclusively with LGBTQ+ clients. VSC respects the pronouns a client uses and can change pronouns and/or names as requested. Violence against trans and nonbinary people is unfortunately not uncommon, but VSC is ready to help clients who have experienced violence or trauma due to their gender by offering free counseling, advocacy, therapy, and support groups. Call our office to learn more, or if in a criss our 24/7 helpline is always there (407) 500-HEAL.

by Alexa Andino, UCF Clinical Mental Health Counseling Graduate Student, VSC Therapy Intern

Ace week

The last week of October is Asexuality Awareness Week (Ace Week) and if that is news to you, you are not the first. Asexuality is an invisible and forgotten identity that many people do not know about or choose to exclude out of misunderstanding. Ace Week started in 2010 as an effort to embrace and accept Asexuality into the LGBTQ+ community. Ace week now continues to spread awareness about Asexuality and promote advocacy for individuals who identify as Ace.

What is Asexuality?

Asexuality is lack of sexual attraction towards another person. The word Ace is a term someone who is on the Asexuality spectrum chooses to identify themselves as. Aces use the term Allosexual or Allo to talk about someone who is not ace (someone who has sexual attraction).

Asexuality lives on a spectrum, just like sexuality. It is fluid and can change or stay the same. If you think about an umbrella, Ace is the umbrella term for several identities that fall under it. Below are some identities someone who is Ace identifies as.

• Asexual – someone who does not experience any or little sexual attraction
• Demisexual – lacking sexual attraction towards any person unless one becomes deeply emotionally or romantically connected with a specific person.
• Grey-asexual – experience sexual attraction sometimes. Somewhere between being sexual (Allosexual) and Asexual. Does not feel that they fit under Asexual or Demisexual.
• Reciprosexual- describes someone who does not experience sexual/romantic attraction to someone until they know that the person is attracted to them
• Akoisexual- sexual attraction fades if reciprocated
• Aceflux- sexual attraction fluctuates between Asexual spectrum and sexual spectrum
• Or something else entirely

(Source: https://www.glaad.org/blog/busting-myths-honor-asexual-awareness-week)

Asexuality is NOT

• Celibacy
• A choice
• A fear of sex or relationships
• A disorder

Source: https://www.glaad.org/blog/busting-myths-honor-asexual-awareness-week)

Asexuals Might:

• Masturbate (to alleviate buildup of an increased libido)
• Participate in BDSM/Kink
• Have sex (emotional reasons or satisfy partner(s) needs)
• Have romantic relationships
• Experience Arousal or Orgasm

Source: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/trvr_support_center/asexual/

Intersectionality between Asexuality and Sexual Violence

There is no direct causation when it comes to being Asexual. There is no gene or trait to determine if you are Ace. Sometimes when someone experiences sexual violence, the construct of sexual orientation is questioned. This is because society’s “norm” is heterosexual. When someone identifies as heterosexual, no one asks “how do you really know if your heterosexual?” or “are you heterosexual because you were sexually assaulted?”. I like to say that for whatever reason you identify as Ace is valid. You can still identify as Ace even if you think something caused your lack of attraction, the reality is we will never know. I believe I was born Ace and I am okay with that.

Many sexual abuse survivors who are Ace or who are curious about Asexuality have trauma that confuses them from identifying. As a child sexual abuse survivor, my abuse hindered me from identifying as Ace for a long time. I thought there was something medically wrong with me or I thought that I am only this way because of my abuse and that one day I will be “healed.” After going to countless doctors and gynecologists, there was nothing that can explain my lack of desire to have sex or have sexual attraction. It was not until recently that I blurted out in my therapy session, “What if I am Asexual?”. My therapist was the first person to ask me about Asexuality and from then on, I started researching Asexuality. I felt empowered that I am who I am because of my Asexuality and that my abuser did not take away my desire for sex.

Wondering why I am Ace came from a state where I wanted to figure out why so that I can make myself sexual again. This internalized acephobia I projected onto myself caused hate that I did not deserve. Being challenged in my own therapy sessions by my therapist helped me realize what I was doing to myself and how society causes this to happen.

Now I do not wonder anymore, I just am.

What VSC can do to help

Therapist and Advocates at VSC are here to help and provide a safe space for sexual abuse survivors and the LGBTQ+ community. VSC has their very own LGBTQ+ advocate who specializes in helping individuals of the LGBTQ+ community and VSC has a support group specifically for LGBTQ+ survivors of sexual assault called Rainbow Resilience.

For more information call our office at 407-254-9415 to set up an appointment. If you or a loved one is currently experiencing a crisis related to victimization, you can reach a crisis counselor immediately on our 24/7 hotline at 407-500-HEAL.

Earlier this month we sat down with VSC Education Coordinator Emilie Mitchell and two of VSC’s Advocates Kevin Fox and Emily Collins to chat about what this year’s Pride might look like. Now as we close out the month of June join us once again as we reflect on what has happened this month from BLM protests to Supreme Court rulings while talking about the importance of intersectionality and what Pride really means.

You can listen to our Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twq4kfhOU-g

You can also listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your Podcasts!

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Trigger Warning: In this podcast we will be discussing sensitive topics such as Sexual Assault. It’s important to take care of yourself while listening. Some suggestions are listening while you’re in a healthy head space or knowing who you can reach out to if you become upset. Our 24/7 helpline for crisis calls based out of Central Florida is 407 500 HEAL. By contacting the National Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 you can get support and learn about your local resources. There is always someone ready to help.

I wrote this blog in May a few weeks before the death of George Floyd. Even though I knew pride would be different this year due to the Covid-19 pandemic, I had no idea how different it would really be. After I watched the video of George Floyd’s murder and saw the whole world rise up to fight injustice and racism, our focus for the month shifted for a lot of LGBTQ+ people. I decided not to rewrite what I originally wrote because the purpose of it was to highlight my experience and what we do to affirm LGBTQ+ identities at VSC. However, I want to add something very important: we must also work hard to address and end white supremacy and the impacts centuries of racism have had on the mental health and safety of black communities. Anyone providing services to human beings, especially victims of crime and trauma, must go out of their way break down barriers of systemic racism. Pride was a riot started by black and brown LGBTQ+ women. Black people, including black LGBTQ+ people and especially black trans people, need us. 

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June is my ABSOLUTE favorite time of year. Here in Florida the ocean is warm enough to swim in, the lakes aren’t usually too hot to swim in yet, and the days are long and full of activities. But let’s be real, it’s actually my favorite time of year because June is PRIDE MONTH!!! A month rooted in activism dedicated to honoring the heroes and history that came before us while continuing our fight for equal rights and acceptance with the most fun and colorful celebrations you can imagine. While I’m saddened we won’t be able to gather and give out free hugs this year, I’m thankful we are a community that aims to uplift and protect our members. And don’t you worry, we will still find ways to keep the party alive.

On the real, the most important thing about Pride to me is the opportunity it gives LGBTQ+ individuals to be affirmed. I will never forget my first Pride. It was right after I came out which was a strange, anxiety filled, and confusing time in my life. I was visiting a friend in Boston without even knowing it was Boston Pride. The entire town was covered in Rainbow Flags and we stumbled on this massive parade. I felt safe, accepted, and able to be myself in this sea of people that were also comfortable being themselves. I watched with tears in my eyes and it was amazing.

Queer (yes, we have reclaimed the word queer) people come from all different backgrounds. Some grow up in big cities with loving accepting families, some are kicked out at a young age, and some fall in between. But what I can’t stress enough is that because of the discrimination we face, whether it be from our families, communities, or strangers, we face much higher rates of suicide and trauma. In fact according to The Trevor Project, LGB youth are 5x more likely to attempt suicide compared to heterosexual youth. 5x. According to HRC, 47% of trans people report being sexually assaulted in their lifetime. That means, 1 out of 2. These numbers are incredibly high and break my heart every time I think about them. However, the existence of just one affirming person significantly lowers suicide rates. That means affirming someone’s identity, not just during Pride but all year round, can literally be the difference in life or death.

People come to VSC after experiencing terribly traumatic events. Feeling safe, believed, and affirmed is extremely important in their healing journey. I was recently in a training about working with LGBTQ+ people where the facilitator asked if LGBTQ+ people feel affirmed at our agencies, what we do to ensure that, and how do we know if it’s working? I joked with one of my co-workers that VSC affirms LGBTQ+ identities in so many ways I could write paragraphs and he encouraged me to write this blog, so here we are!

Sure there are some simple ways to affirm people: bathroom signs that just say “Restroom” instead of being gendered, those Rainbow safe place stickers in our windows, the pride flags you’ll find in many of our offices (not just the rainbow ones, but trans pride, pan pride, ace pride, and basically any other flag we could find). If people see something that represents their identity, they’re going to feel safer.

Some things we do may not be as obvious. Upon arriving to our office for the first time you’ll be asked to fill out an info sheet and there are many blank spaces instead of boxes to check. The preferred name you put on that sheet is what we’re going to call you regardless of your legal name, the gender and pronouns you write are the ones we’re going to use for you. Life doesn’t always exist within the binary systems society gives us and we know that. And everything is confidential. What you say here, stays here and that includes disclosing your sexual orientation or gender identity. We’re here to support you, listen to what’s important to you, and help you process. We also offer multiple support groups for individuals interested in attending them as part of their healing journey. It’s important for those groups to represent the identities of our survivors. Our Rainbow Resilience group is specifically for LGBTQ+ Survivors of sexual violence to attend if they so choose.

All of our staff do multiple trainings each year. LGBTQ+ cultural competency training is one our new staff get within months of being hired. Our Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners (SANE) get the trainings as well with much focus to working with trans clients. No matter what background you come from, if you find yourself in the position of needing a rape-kit, we will do our best to make it as comfortable as possible. We get implicit bias training where were encouraged to explore our own bias and discomforts; we even talk about them with our coworkers to check in and make sure we can best serve clients from all backgrounds. I think the most important training we get however is suicide training. You can’t talk about LGBTQ+ sexual trauma without acknowledging that suicidal thoughts, ideation, and attempts are a very real part of it and we don’t want anyone to go through that alone.

And last but certainly not least is my personal favorite way we affirm people. We have a Victim Advocate/Crisis Counselor specifically assigned to work with the LGBTQ+ community. When you call us to make an appointment we’ll ask you some questions, one being do you identify as LGBTQ+. If you answer yes, we’ll ask if you’d like to work with the LGBTQ+ advocate. This position was created to make sure LGBTQ+ voices are always represented and heard not only within VSC but within our whole community, the criminal justice system, and each survivors healing journey. This advocate also works closely with other non-profits, especially Zebra Coalition, attends outreaches, and provides trainings on LGBTQ+ Sexual Assault and workshops on Consent.

How do we know it works? Easy: people come back and they tell us it works. We encourage our survivors to be honest with us because we provide a safe space where they can be and being open is beneficial in the healing journey. They tell us what works and what doesn’t. You’d (unfortunately) be surprised how often people tell us they feel seen and safe for the first time after walking through our doors.

I’m sure at this point you’ve already realized I’m the fortunate LGBTQ+ Advocate as VSC. Hopefully this was able to shed some light on the importance of affirming spaces. Maybe it even helped you realize the ways your agency is affirming or gave you ideas of things to change. Thanks for reading and don’t forget, HAPPY PRIDE Y’ALL!